The Kidney Donor’s Story
Under fear of a curse, Jim and I gave Dave and Kathy $30,000 in addition to repaying the loans.
by Rebecca L.
Note: The names Rachelle, Kirk, and Marvin are pseudonyms for actual names.
History
I met Dave and Kathy in 2006 after moving to Arizona. They were people of faith who tried to answer my questions about Christianity, but couldn’t satisfy the ones that kept me from returning to it. After meeting my husband in 2007, who finally answered those questions, I accepted Christ, and we began seeking Dave and Kathy as a couple for counsel.
They supported us through many struggles, but I didn't realize the subtle conditioning they began introducing. I remember attending one Friday night where a woman asked for prayer about going on a mission trip. The group surrounded her, prayed, and gave yes/no answers as if receiving direct guidance from God. I felt uncomfortable, as Jim and I had studied Decision Making and the Will of God by Greg Koukl, which taught that this wasn’t a biblical method. As we grew closer to the group, Dave affirmed this as a biblical way of hearing from the Lord. Grateful and eager for more of God's presence, we embraced this approach.
Kidney Donation
Though Dave and Kathy continued to help with relational issues, we attended Friday night sporadically due to work and living 45 minutes away. In 2017, I felt led to donate a kidney to Kathy, who was in kidney failure. After tests showed I was likely a match, things looked hopeful.
In April 2018, Mayo Clinic doctors found a liver spot and warned that donating a kidney could complicate future pregnancies. I struggled with the decision, but with my husband’s encouragement, I decided to continue with the process. Kathy did know that I had been going through the process to see if I would qualify. At some point, we learned Kathy had turned down a cadaver kidney based on a "listening prayer" session of three people that claimed they heard from God it had to be ranked under 40. (*all kidneys have a ranking system- the lower the number the more healthy the kidney.) When one came ranked at 38, prophets they knew and their family prayed if she should take it and heard "no". After learning I was a match two weeks later, they reinterpreted the number to mean my age when I agreed to donate. Ultimately, I did feel that giving Kathy my kidney was the right choice and that I did have an extra measure of faith to do so. At the time I thought nothing of the cadaver kidney story. However, my current reflection on the cadaver kidney situation, and what I have since learned about how Dave teaches and handles prophecy, leaves me questioning how it was handled.
Jim’s Health
In May 2020, Jim developed Parsonage Turner Syndrome and faced potential paralysis. He found a therapist who electrocuted him with DC current for 12 weeks in a row to get his nerves talking to each other. Miraculously it worked. He also had continuing shoulder problems and 10 bulging spinal discs that left him unable to work and in constant pain. I took extra jobs, but we still couldn’t cover our bills. Despite qualifying for disability, Jim was ineligible due to not paying into FICA for five years.
In July 2022, I accepted a low-paying full-time job that provided fast-activating health benefits. A friend reported to us his experience of full restoration with the success of stem cells, but they were not covered under any insurance, and Jim was wary of spine surgery, especially after the previous threat of paralysis. We knew we didn’t have a choice but to sell our house to get Jim treated and pay our bills. Selling our house felt like a no-win situation, as Jim would likely lose his business and be left vulnerable at his age of nearly 60.
Attending Friday Night/Dave’s conduct
We attended Friday nights intermittently, especially during and after the pandemic. Jim often listened online due to pain. I regularly asked Dave, Kathy, and the community for prayer regarding our financial and health crises, as we were continually going into more and more debt, and facing foreclosure despite loans we borrowed from other family members (which hugely detrimented our familial relationships.) From 2021- 2023 I had texted Dave and Kathy for emotional support many times, expressing fearfulness of our financial situation and the emotional impact. After multiple incidents of us both meeting with them, and Jim with Dave, Jim always came away discouraged. As I look back, I noticed that Dave and Kathy did tend to side with me, and there wasn’t much compassion/encouragement from Dave towards Jim, despite his crippling circumstances of health, losing a parent, strain on our relationship, and suicidal thoughts, as I told him that Jim had been struggling with about 6 months before we sold our home. At the time I remember being grateful I had support, and thought this was supposed to be a husband’s responsibility to try harder since I was trying my best to hold up the other end.
Dave's False Prophecy and Manipulation
In late spring 2023, we decided to prepare our house for the market. Before listing, I asked Dave and Kathy for prayer. Kathy mentioned they were also struggling financially, and I remember thinking I wanted to bless them after the sale.
God provided good friends, Jeremiah and Rachelle, who lent us money and helped us repair the house. We specifically sought Dave’s wisdom, and he believed that we should sell the house including the studio. In July, we ran out of funds and faced foreclosure. Jim asked Dave for a loan. Dave reluctantly gave $3,000, then texted a week later claiming God said Jim was cursed for not tithing, referencing Malachi 3 and Genesis 4. (His story details this account).
This shocked us, especially since we had tithed in cash twice in previous years from his mother’s inheritance and insurance money—despite being broke. Dave’s message contradicted 2 Corinthians 9, which warns against giving under compulsion, however, this didn’t occur to me at the time. We were desperate and I accepted its truth based on trust in Dave’s prophetic nature we had come to believe in.
On August 31st, we asked Dave for more financial help with our electric bill, but he referred us to a financial adviser, which confused us, because the adviser couldn't assist financially. Rachelle then confronted Dave about refusing to help even after I had donated my kidney. She asked him if he would lend us money if there wasn’t any in the church fund because we were in a strained situation. He reacted suspiciously, saying he didn’t think we knew how to handle money. She told him that this wasn’t the time to be making that type of case because of the desperate position we were in. He then replied attempting to make the case that this was our fault. She was shocked and pushed back against his statement, but he still refused.
In the midst of our sorrow, Jim wrote a beautiful worship song to glorify the Lord despite the suffering we were going through. I encouraged him to play it for our Friday night church because it was so beautiful. We asked Dave if we could perform it and if that would somehow allow God to release funds to us. After pressing him on the phone, he said yes, that he thought maybe the funds would be released if Jim performed that worship song. In late September of 2023, we performed the song for all of Friday night. After we performed it, Dave later confirmed that the song was the release, and lent us the other chunk of money to pay our electric bill.
In October of 2023, after 97 days with no good offers, we added a bedroom and no longer planned to sell with a studio, ignoring Dave's advice. But by then, the market had died for the winter and we had to take it off the market. After taking on a roommate in November to help pay the bills and gaining a new realtor in March 2024, we ran into a final situation where we would foreclose on our house if we didn’t borrow more money. Dave resisted, but with our realtor’s encouragement, he loaned us what we needed. We finally sold the house within six weeks. Under fear of a curse, Jim and I gave Dave and Kathy $30,000 in addition to repaying the loans. Jim also mentioned to Dave that he had an idea to give $10,000 of the tithe to Marvin, a close disciple of Dave’s, since he was starting as a new associate pastor at a church. Dave refused, stating that Marvin didn’t need the money because he worked a full time job (despite the fact that he and his wife live in an apartment while Dave owns 2 houses). Jim replied, ‘Ok, it’s your tithe,’ because again, we believed it was supposed to go to him because the Lord told Dave we were cursed. He told us to write the check to "Church of Phoenix." We trusted it would be used faithfully.
Dave’s Unrepentant Behavior
While awaiting stem cell treatment, Jim continued struggling with Dave’s behavior. Dave often used a passive-aggressive tone. Once, when Jim asked to discuss a topic, Dave replied sarcastically. Another time, Dave harshly scolded Jim for teaching flamenco on Dave’s guitar to another believer, saying it should only be used for worship, both situations creating embarrassment.
On my birthday- the same night Jim gave Dave our official tithe check, Jim came with me despite his excessive pain, and someone else taught on logical fallacies for apologetics—a topic we had requested to lead the year before because of Jim’s extensive studies on it. Dave never followed up with us but had promoted another person. Even more hurtful, he didn’t even assign Jim to lead a small group that night, and later claimed he hadn’t seen him, though Jim sat beside me while Dave sang me Happy Birthday.
Jim confronted Dave twice about these directly hostile and passive aggressive quips and received hollow apologies and explanations to excuse his behavior. At a later event in front of multiple witnesses, Dave mocked him with, "Oh great, another Jim question." That was the breaking point. Jim was very angry and didn’t know how to address the issue any further, so I offered to advocate.
Approaching Another Leader
On March 30th, 2025, I planned to attend another event but suddenly felt anxious. The wife of Kirk, another leader in the group, had been texting me at that moment and I asked her to pray for me. I then felt a need to go to Saturday night house church instead. I told Jim I had a sense I needed to go ahead of time, but I didn’t understand why. After our meeting, I felt prompted to speak with Kirk, who had shown evidence of character and humility in past conversations.
We began talking late at night after the others had left, and within five minutes, Jim called. He felt strongly that the Spirit was prompting him that I was speaking with Kirk, and had texted me at the exact moment I began to speak with him-- confirming the importance of the conversation. When I shared this with Kirk and explained Jim’s on the spot interpretation of needing him to help advocate for our situation, Kirk looked stunned.
I explained to Kirk that Jim had already confronted Dave twice about his inappropriate behavior, but Dave had minimized his own actions, offered only hollow apologies, and now repeated the behavior again. I told Kirk that Jim couldn’t confront Dave a third time without sinning due to his hurt and anger, that I needed emotional support in the situation, and asked if he could help me address Dave. Kirk reassured me that I was a good wife, and promised to reach out to Jim.
Two weeks later on April 11th, we found out about the spiritual manipulation of another couple denoting patterns of abuse. When we brought up the pending conversation with Kirk, they told us that Kirk had been confronted with potential wrongdoing by Dave and had deflected the conversation elsewhere.
When Kirk later contacted Jim, he proposed discussing the matter at Saturday night house church, a group setting, inappropriate for the sensitive and serious nature of the topic. After learning about Kirk’s deflection and recalling the way he had responded to concerns about Dave’s lack of humility in the past, we declined, realizing the conversation would not be fruitful.
The Socratic Method
I believe God has been preparing me through discernment to expose corruption in the church. Over the past few years, I have researched extensively and used the Socratic Method to encourage deeper questions in our online church group chat. One of those questions was: "What defines a Christian cult?" I never expected that this line of questioning would lead me to uncover serious violations of Scripture by the very people I once trusted most.
Gratefulness
I want to end with gratitude. I am grateful for the extreme generosity the Lord has given to us in this time of trial. Thank you to Rachelle and Jeremiah in helping us repair our home, and for confronting evil when seen. To Angie and Daryl for allowing the Lord to work through you and repeatedly give us an affordable place to stay through this tumultuous season. I want to praise the Lord for all of these things, including the location being 8 minutes away from a stem- cell clinic that seems to be the only one in the country that could’ve genuinely helped Jim with his intense health needs. Thank you to our family that lent us money despite the discomfort it has caused you. And thank you to all of those from Friday and Saturday night who have supported and prayed for us through this extremely painful situation. We once more want you to know we wrote this disclosure because we love the church and all the people in it, and want her to be free from the potential damage that could be caused, providing an opportunity to grow in discernment. We continue to pray for Dave and Kathy’s repentance and restoration to the church.
Thirty Pieces of Silver
He claimed my decision to be with my dying mother—to hold her hand as she took her final breaths—had placed undue strain on my wife.
Note: Jay and Marvin are pseudonyms.
My name is Jim L, and I’m sharing my story to give voice to the pain of spiritual abuse—and to stand with others who’ve suffered under manipulative leadership. This isn’t just my story—it’s part of a wider pattern of harm. By sharing the human weight of my experience—emotional, financial, spiritual, and psychological—I hope to support the truth and help others heal.
Early Years
Rebecca and I met at work in 2007 and married the following year. In early 2009, she introduced me to Dave and Kathy.
We began attending Friday night gatherings and gradually got to know the group. In 2010, I launched my recording studio, and by 2012 I was working there full-time. Since both Rebecca and I worked weekends, we couldn’t attend the gatherings regularly.
During those years, things were amicable. Dave called me a prophet, and we generally got along. I even recorded a few of his songs. Though we visited the group occasionally, we also attended another church—our involvement remained limited.
Still, we were close to Dave and Kathy and cared about them deeply—so much so that in 2018, Rebecca donated her kidney to Kathy. Six years later, Dave would use 'prophecy' to extract $30,000 from us during our financial collapse.
The real trouble began in 2020, after I suffered a spinal cord injury. Below is an email to a client explaining my condition and why there were delays finishing their project.
A Time of Vulnerability
In 2020, a spinal injury shattered my health and brought an end to my recording business of twelve years. Medical bills drained our savings. By 2023, Rebecca and I faced the heartbreaking decision to sell our home.
For over a decade, we had faithfully supported a charity. We stopped only when we simply couldn’t give anymore. We didn’t lose faith—we ran out of resources.
The loss wasn’t just financial. Grief mounted, compounded by the death of my mother. And in that season of vulnerability, the spiritual guidance we sought became a source of deep harm.
Between 2020 and 2022, even as our world collapsed around us, Rebecca and I gave two cash gifts to Dave and Kathy. Both were tithes—$1,200 from an insurance payout and $2,000 from a small inheritance after my mother's death. We tithed on each lump sum as an act of gratitude, even as bills mounted and savings disappeared. I share this because it's crucial to understand: Dave knew we were willing to give him money whenever we received unexpected income. He was watching our financial patterns.
A Plea for Help, Met with Condemnation
In June of 2023, Rebecca and I hosted Dave and Kathy for dinner at our home. I was in excruciating pain, confined mostly to my recliner, but we maintained our annual tradition—a June gathering to honor the anniversary of Rebecca's life-saving gift to Kathy. As they sat in our living room, we opened our hearts about our financial desperation. I was unable to work, our savings were gone, and we couldn’t cover our bills. We even told them we were thinking of selling our home. Dave thought this might be wise. He encouraged us to list it at a high price, pointing out the sound studio I had built could add significant value.
Based in part on Dave’s advice, we put our house up for sale. On July 17, 2023, I swallowed my pride and reached out to him for a loan to help us avoid foreclosure. It was one of the most humbling moments of my life—but I trusted the man whose wife my wife had saved would respond with compassion. Instead, he was terse, almost cold. Still, he agreed to loan us what we needed to avoid foreclosure and keep the house on the market.
Nine days later, I awoke at 3 a.m. on July 26 to a text message.
Dave said God had told him I was cursed.
Quoting Malachi and Genesis, he claimed I was “robbing” the Lord because I hadn’t given financially. Then he implied God was comparing me to Cain.
The words cut deep. They didn’t sound like the God I had come to know.
This wasn’t guidance. You can draw your own conclusion but to me it was spiritual manipulation—cloaked in authority.
A note on sourcing: I copied the text into a journal entry in October 2023. I no longer have the original screenshot because my phone was erased during an upgrade.
Spiritual and Psychological Turmoil
For days, I couldn't sleep. My thoughts spiraled into darkness. Had I failed God? Was I cursed? Was my spinal injury—my paralysis, my business collapse, my mother's death—all divine punishment for insufficient giving?
I tried to make sense of it—maybe it was a test, like Job. Maybe I had missed something.
But looking back, I see it clearly: this wasn’t God’s voice. It was a tactic—meant to shame and control.
Take this: if God were truly concerned about my giving and the state of my heart, why hadn’t He spoken through Dave at any point during the previous three years? Why did this “word” appear only a week after Dave loaned me money?
Later, as others began sharing their stories, I started to notice a pattern. These “words” often coincided with personal events—loans, needs, dating, even arranged marriages.
It convinced me—and others—that something deeper was at play. Maybe Dave sincerely believes he’s hearing from God, unaware of how his own emotions and motives shape what he says. Or maybe, at worst, he knows exactly what he’s doing—and uses “prophecy” to control outcomes.
The toll was relentless. I felt spiritually adrift—unworthy, abandoned. I couldn’t shake the echoes of the harsh words Dave spoke during my most vulnerable moments in the years leading up to 2023. One memory stands out: in 2021, while my mother was dying of cancer, I returned to Michigan to support her through hospice and to help arrange her funeral.
Between hospice and the funeral, I flew home briefly. I was already battling excruciating spinal cord pain—every movement was a negotiation with my body’s limits. Dave, Kathy, and Rebecca picked me up from the airport and took me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. Instead of offering comfort during one of the darkest periods of my life, Dave used that moment to attack me. He claimed my decision to be with my dying mother—to hold her hand as she took her final breaths—had placed undue strain on my wife. I was stunned. But the cruelest blow came next: during my mother's funeral and in the weeks that followed, there were no calls, no texts, no acknowledgement of my loss. The silence felt calculated—a punishment for daring to prioritize my dying mother over his expectations. It deepened my guilt and sense of abandonment at a time when I most needed compassion.
Dave called it "correction." But it was shaming. It was harmful. His refusal to see or acknowledge my pain—physical, emotional, spiritual—left scars I carry still.
Financial Ruin Under Spiritual Pressure
In August 2023, we were still far behind. Our electricity was in danger of being shut off, and the house sat on the market with no offers.
Out of desperation, Rebecca reached out to Dave. I couldn't bring myself to face him again—not after being called cursed and compared to Cain during our darkest hour. Two days later, Dave replied, but instead of offering support or assistance, he referred us to a financial advisor. The subtext was clear: Your poverty is your own fault for poor stewardship and insufficient tithing. I'm sending you to get financial advice you can't afford about money you don't have. When we contacted the advisor, he confirmed what we already knew—he couldn't help because we had no money to manage.
Spiritual guilt deepened our financial desperation.
We were at a breaking point. The power was on the verge of being shut off. Foreclosure loomed. Finally, a close friend who had been helping us sell the house confronted Dave directly. She told him his refusal to help was not just ungrateful but unconscionable—how could he abandon the family whose wife had literally given part of her body to save his wife's life?
That conversation led, eventually, to an offer: a loan from the church fund, a fund specifically set aside for needs like ours.
But he didn’t extend it until after I shared a song I’d written about loving God amid suffering. After hearing it, Dave told me that God had shown him I had made the proper sacrifice—that I had "earned" the help.
We borrowed from many: friends, family, even contractors—enough to keep the lights on, cover essential bills, and prepare the house for sale. That included a $9,500 loan from Dave. But the house didn’t sell. As winter approached, we pulled it off the market and found other ways to survive. We took on a boarder, and I began liquidating gear from the studio—vital equipment I’d once hoped to use again in a new location, now sold to make it through.
The October 23rd Meeting: Concealing the Truth
On the evening of October 23, 2023, I met with Dave and Marvin—one of the inner circle leaders—to discuss and hopefully interpret my dreams from July. I had prepared a journal entry I’d written on October 5th, titled The Dream and Dave’s Word, intending to read it aloud for context before seeking interpretation. As I began sharing, I reached the part where I planned to read the prophetic word Dave had given me: a 3 a.m. message claiming God said I was cursed, with the clear implication that my spinal injury and financial losses were tied to my tithing habits.
Dave interrupted immediately, his hand almost rising as if to physically stop me. 'We don't need to share that—just stick to the dreams,' he said sharply, cutting me off before I could continue.
His reaction was telling. If this had truly been a word from God, why stop another leader from hearing it? Looking back, I see something more sinister was at work.
That journal entry recorded the psychological torture I had endured—three sleepless nights questioning if I was cursed like Cain, desperately twisting theology to make sense of why God would say such a thing during the darkest period of my life. In that desperation, I performed elaborate theological gymnastics, convincing myself I had to tithe to Dave as my 'priest' before giving to the poor—like Abraham to Melchizedek. I twisted scripture to make my torment make sense.
I carried that spiritual weight for ten months. Ten months believing my spinal injury was punishment. Ten months thinking I had robbed God. Ten months of unquantifiable psychological and spiritual anguish.
And Dave knew it all along.
At that October meeting, Dave had no idea his manipulation would later lead me to give him $30,000 after our house sold. But he knew we had equity. And when I texted him in May 2024 to deliver the check, I joked about wishing I had room on the memo line to write “the order of Melchizedek.” His reply? A laughing emoji. He understood exactly what that meant—because I had explained it in October. He knew the theology I’d used to justify giving him money I could barely afford during my family’s collapse.
A true shepherd would have said, “Jim, this isn’t biblical. You don’t need to carry this burden. This theology is wrong, and you’re punishing yourself.” Instead, he laughed—and cashed the check.
Dave’s interruption that October evening wasn’t about protecting me. It was about protecting himself. He didn’t want Marvin to hear the manipulation, the torment, or the theology that had nearly destroyed me. He didn’t want another leader to witness the cost of his so-called prophecy.
The email I sent that day—subject line “Dreams and Dave’s Word”—confirms we met that night and that I intended to share everything. His decision to censor his own “word from God,” despite knowing its devastating effects, says all we need to know about his character.
The Pattern of Abuse Continues
One bright spot during that difficult winter was a friendship that developed between me and a younger man named Jett. In a season of isolation and spiritual trauma, it was one of those rare connections you can't predict or explain—an immediate kinship that brought hope during my darkest period. Sadly, like almost everything associated with Dave, this too became tainted.
On May 4, 2024, with our house sold (for much less than expected) and preparations underway for moving, we hosted the final gathering of our Jordan B. Peterson meetup group. This group, which I co-founded in 2018, had forged many meaningful friendships around Peterson’s ideas and other philosophical topics, though explicitly not from a traditional Christian perspective. It was never intended as a ministry in the way Dave defined it, but rather as a gathering for people to explore complex ideas and enjoy profound conversations. Jett, who shared an interest in these discussions, planned to attend this last meeting.
When I mentioned to Dave that Jett would be coming, his reaction stunned me. His face darkened, and with a voice dripping with anger and condemnation, he growled, “On Saturday night?!” as if I had suggested something blasphemous. The implication was clear: how dare I divert Jett from the "more important" Saturday night gathering Dave had organized—a new church initiative called Friday Night on Saturday Night, which had launched a few months earlier.
The intensity of Dave's condemnation was shocking, conveying that my final meeting—already painful enough to lose—was entirely meaningless to him. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised. Dave had repeatedly declared that he saw no 'fruit' in my life, dismissing years of meaningful relationships and intellectual growth as worthless. To him, anything that didn't directly serve his ministry was spiritual garbage. One Friday night, after the main teaching, Kathy abruptly told me that Jett had described the Peterson meetup at our home as "darkness" compared to the "light" of Friday Night. Later, when Rebecca asked Jett about this, he was upset, insisting that they had misconstrued and misrepresented his words. Unfortunately, twisting words and implying that meaningful fellowship could only occur within their gatherings had become standard practice for Dave.
As stated earlier—the house did sell but at a much lower price than we had hoped for. Still, we used the proceeds to repay every debt. But the pressure didn’t lift.
Dave’s 3 a.m. text quoting Malachi haunted me: “You are cursed with a curse … Bring the whole tithe … then I will rebuke the devourer.” I couldn’t help but wonder—was the curse already at work in my body? The timing and the verse felt less like guidance and more like a verdict.
I had hoped to share a third of the tithe (10,000) with Marvin, the leader who attended the October meeting who couldn’t afford a home. But Dave objected. He said Marvin didn’t truly need help because he worked full-time. Looking back, I see the conflict of interest clearly now: Dave was set to receive a 30,000 tithe his own warning compelled us to give and he didn’t want to share it.
What also haunted me was that his warning invoked a 'devourer' sent to consume what was left unprotected. In my traumatized mind, the spinal injury itself became the devourer's mark—visible proof that I was cursed. The only way to stop further destruction was to pay.
Out of fear, we tithed $30,000 the moment the house sold.
Theological Clarification: Freedom from the Curse
I anticipate the knee-jerk defense from Dave's disciples—or Dave himself—that his "word" came from God. But that kind of claim reflects an Old Covenant mindset that fundamentally misunderstands the gospel.
Dave's use of Malachi 3 hinges on a Deuteronomy 28 framework—curses for disobedience under the Mosaic Law. But that entire structure was fulfilled and lifted in Christ. In Galatians 3:13, Paul writes, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.”¹
This isn't a theological stretch. Paul is explicitly dismantling the Law's curse mechanism and declaring that Jesus absorbed it completely. That includes tithing-related judgment like Malachi 3:9. The cross didn't leave some curses intact while removing others—it dealt with the entire system.
This truth is reinforced throughout the New Testament. Colossians 2:14 tells us Christ "canceled the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands."² Romans 8:1 declares, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."³ That's three solid New Testament witnesses pointing to the same truth: curses under the Old Covenant no longer hold jurisdiction over those in Christ.
Even more fundamentally, you cannot curse what God has blessed. Under the Old Covenant itself, Balaam admitted, "How can I curse whom God has not cursed?" (Numbers 23:8).⁴ And Ephesians 1:3 says clearly that God "has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."⁵
Dave's "prophetic word" directly contradicted this New Testament reality. To say someone is "cursed" until they give—especially in financial terms—is to ignore the finished work of Christ on the cross. That's not prophetic; that's legalism. It binds where Christ has set free.
So, for the record, I gave in good faith and asked for that blessing not out of superstition, but because I had been placed under spiritual pressure by someone I trusted. And I now know better. I know that the blessing I needed didn't come from Dave. It came from Christ—who bore every curse already.
¹ Galatians 3:13 – “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.”
² Colossians 2:14 – “By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.”
³ Romans 8:1 – “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
⁴ Numbers 23:8 – “How can I curse whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce whom the Lord has not denounced?”
⁵ Ephesians 1:3 – “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.”
But Dave never cashed the check. I had made it out to him personally. Nearly two weeks later, on May 30th, I texted him: "Hey buddy, just checking to see why your tithe hasn't been deposited yet." He then instructed me to make it out to "Church of Phoenix" instead, with a memo specifying it was "given as a gift specifically to bless the ministry of Dave & Kathy Cottrell."
May 31st, 2024 — The Corrected Check and Ultimate Humiliation
When I texted back jokingly that I wished I had room for "After the order of Melchizedek" on the memo line, Dave replied with a laughing emoji. He understood exactly what that meant—because I had explained the twisted theology in October. He knew I believed I had to give to him as my "priest" before giving to the poor. And he laughed.
Adding insult to injury, the check was delivered on May 31st, 2024—just three days after my wife’s birthday. That Friday night, as was custom, Dave sang “Happy Birthday” to Rebecca while seated in his usual chair, just a few feet from us.
He then introduced a guest speaker—someone brought in to teach basic logic and apologetics. It was a subject I had studied for over twenty years. Dave knew that. It wasn’t just an interest of mine—it was a calling. Yet when it came time to form discussion groups, he looked around and asked where Quinn and others were to help lead. He never once looked at me.
Rebecca and I were stunned. After everything—after the injury, after the cruel silence during my mother's death, after tithing $30,000 in desperate fear that blessing might follow—I sat there, invisible. Twenty years of expertise in apologetics meant nothing. The $30,000 check meant nothing. I was furniture.
Trying to hold back tears, I stepped into the kitchen to gather myself. A few moments later, I walked out the front door to get air. Dave was already waiting on the porch. I hadn’t seen him slip out. He’d gotten there before me.
I told him directly how hurtful the exclusion had been. He claimed he hadn't seen me and didn't know where I was. Yet minutes earlier, he had sung "Happy Birthday" to my wife while we both sat feet away. He then showered me with praise about my intelligence and knowledge—praise that felt hollow and contrived. When I pressed him on why I was excluded despite having these qualities, he simply said, "There is a process."
The very next day, I texted him again, asking to understand the “process” it took to be allowed to contribute. The truth was, I was asking why he had bypassed me. I had no problem with Jay, who led the talk that night—he did well. But Dave later said Jay’s delivery had been dry and uninspiring, and he chuckled about it. The subtext was unmistakable: it seemed he took a strange satisfaction in Jay being a less gifted orator than himself.
The insult wasn’t just an omission. It was selective visibility. He saw me when he wanted something—like a $30,000 check. But when it came time to let me use my gifts, he looked the other way.
Now we have nothing. Our home and business are gone. Though I’ve retrained, I still can’t find work. When we sold the house, we made about $300,000. We tithed 10%, paid off our debts, and covered critical medical expenses. That left around $140,000—$100,000 of which we put into gold and silver, hoping it could one day fund retirement or serve as a down payment on a future home. A year later, without steady income, we’re being forced to sell those assets just to pay rent and survive.
My final stem cell treatment is scheduled for August 2025. A year-long protocol is almost unheard of in this field—typically reserved for severe, long-term neurological trauma. That’s how extensive the damage was. And it’s also why I haven’t been able to return to full-time work.
But this wasn't just a slow financial unraveling. It was the inevitable result of weaponized spirituality—chronic stress, psychological terrorism, and leadership-induced shame systematically destroying our decision-making and physical health. The collapse wasn't accidental. It was engineered by a man who knew exactly what he was doing.
And I’m convinced Dave was the chief engineer.
He claimed to be teaching me a lesson—as if he were the mouthpiece of God—while showing almost no regard for my health, my family, or the actual cost of our suffering. He offered no real empathy. The only tangible help came with the price tag of shame and blame. While I was enduring neurological trauma and near-paralysis, he remained distant. Disengaged. Silent.
They seem glad I’m improving now, but no one has asked where we’re living—if we’re renting, how we’re getting by, or whether we have enough to eat. As long as we show up to meetings, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Their posture is performative: all spiritual optics, no relational care.
Meanwhile, they travel and vacation freely—while we’ve been liquidating our last assets just to survive. And I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting. Not because I want what they have, but because they watched our suffering unfold and never stopped to ask how we were really doing.
And in all this, I keep hearing the words of Ezekiel 34:
Ezekiel 34:2–4 (ESV)
Thus says the Lord God:
Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves!
Should not shepherds feed the sheep?
You eat the fat,
you clothe yourselves with the wool,
you slaughter the fat ones,
but you do not feed the sheep.
The weak you have not strengthened,
the sick you have not healed,
the injured you have not bound up,
the strayed you have not brought back,
the lost you have not sought,
and with force and harshness you have ruled them.
That passage names what happened here. This wasn’t spiritual oversight—it was abandonment and exploitation masquerading as authority. A silent, cruel authority.
That silence speaks volumes.
A Pattern of Harm
This wasn't a one-time event. It was a calculated pattern. Weaponizing prophecy for financial gain. Abandoning people in crisis. Using spiritual authority to shame and control. Isolating members from outside relationships. This is textbook spiritual abuse.
I saw it. Others did too.
This isn’t about hurt feelings. It’s about leadership that uses fear to manipulate—about systems that punish vulnerability and call it “faith.”
Why I Speak Out
I’m not telling this story out of anger or revenge (although I do have some righteous anger). I’m telling it because silence protects abuse.
If you've been told you're cursed for not giving enough—if you've felt unworthy, abandoned, or ashamed just for being human and having needs—hear me clearly: That is not God's voice. That's a manipulator using religious language to control you. It's spiritual abuse, and you don't deserve it.
I tried to raise concerns quietly. Nothing changed.
So now, alongside others, I’m speaking up—to warn, to validate, and to heal.
My story puts flesh on the facts. It shows the human cost of this abuse.
If you've been through something like this—you're not alone. You're not crazy. Your intuition that something was wrong was right. And you can heal. We can heal. Together.
Yours in Christ,
Jim L.
Statement by Quinn
With Jim’s blessing, I am providing some additional information and commentary.
Regarding the “process” Dave claimed there is before someone is allowed to teach at Friday Night or lead discussion groups: there is none. I was there for 10 years, and part of the inner circle for 4+. I was never put through a process. I guarantee you that any time I wanted to bring a teaching, Dave would’ve rolled out the red carpet for me. He probably would’ve wanted to know the topic I was going to speak on, but he wouldn’t have asked to see my teaching before I spoke in front of the group or anything like that.
Secondly, Dave relayed to our Monday Night inner circle group that Jim was upset over the Jay situation and not being asked to teach or lead a discussion group. At the time, I had basically no awareness of Jim’s overall situation – I might’ve just had a vague idea they were selling their house or something. The way Dave described the conflict didn’t make sense to me, because he portrayed Jim as being really angry, and I didn’t see how Jim could be so angry over something like that. I asked Dave what the full content of Jim’s complaint was. Dave gave me an annoyed look, didn’t answer, and the topic moved elsewhere. I didn’t feel it was my place to pry, because it seemed like a personal conflict between the two, so I let it go. This story and others illustrate how Dave implemented a fake accountability system. It was all selective information sharing, making other people look bad, making himself look innocent, etc.
Jim’s story shocked me, not because of the false prophecy / spiritual manipulation which I know all too well, but because of the cruelty and exploitation.
The context of Malachi 3 is the old covenant, in which tithing was compulsory, similar to income tax today. As such, it was a sin to not pay the whole tithe. On the other hand, the New Testament explicitly states giving must NOT be under compulsion.⁶ By delivering this prophecy, Dave put Jim under spiritual duress, violating his own principle that prophecy should be measured against scripture. Dave knows Scripture well, often quoting obscure passages from memory. It is highly unlikely he was unaware of this one in 2 Corinthians 9. It is not obscure, but a standard text often referenced on the topic of giving.
Putting that aside for a moment, suppose for the sake of argument that Dave’s prophecy was legitimate. Basic integrity would say that Dave must absolutely refuse to receive a single penny, since it’s an obvious conflict of interest. But not only did he take the money, he even persuaded Jim not to give a portion to Marvin.
Another topic in Malachi 3 is the oppression of the widow and the orphan (see verse 5). Widows and orphans were basically people who were in a vulnerable position through no fault of their own. While Jim was not a literal widow or orphan, he was very much in a financially precarious position because of an injury. When you consider Dave’s willingness to take direct financial benefit, it is accurate to say that Dave used false prophecy to exploit the poor.
With this repulsive act, Dave joined the company of the scribes who “devour widows’ houses” (Luke 20:47; see also Matthew 23:14) and the false prophets of 2 Peter 2:1-3 who “in their greed [] will exploit you with false words…”
⁶ 2 Cor. 9:7 Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
Tyler’s Testimony
So, the strange behaviors, both physical and psychological, get written off or dismissed because of his tenured headship and spiritual authority.
by Tyler (different from Tyler H)
When I first joined Friday Night, I met and talked with Papa Dave for a while and gained a high initial impression/opinion of him. We talked theology and life and seemed to connect and I felt there was respect between us. I attended FN pretty regularly for a few years after that.
About 2.5 years in, I met and got engaged to a woman outside the group, spending a lot of time out of state. I did talk with Dave about some things regarding this relationship, to which some things were affirmed and some overall advice was given. Ultimately, this engagement got broken off, and although Dave was supportive initially to me at the time, I noticed a significant shift in the way he viewed/treated me from then on, as though I was lesser, unwise, immature. This was different from the way that other members of the group treated me after talking with me through things that had happened, that I had tried my hardest to make the best choices that I could at the time. It was noticeable in Dave’s body language, facial expressions, word choice and overall demeanor towards me from then on out. There was a notable disdain that I could tangibly perceive in my direction. It made me question my own spiritual positioning and things I had previously thought to be solid, which in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it’s always good to evaluate yourself and what you know to be true. But his words and actions towards me made me feel inferior and ultimately did not line up with what I found to be true. It was too long ago to remember exact words that were said (which were never direct), but it was as though he no longer viewed me as truly a Christian and treated me as such. At no point did he address anything specific with me to try to help anything that he may have viewed to be “off” with me, rather he began to give off an air that he did not like me, which again was different from before. He told me to get discipled, which I then did for a few years through the group.
It’s worth noting, however, that during my time at FN, I noticed strange behavior from Dave towards women, particularly young women. Dave normally would give more embracing, strong/close hugs to everyone, but there were a number of times where I would witness this hug linger a bit long when hugging a young woman, and he would kiss her on top of her head, and sometimes a tight nuzzling type of action, where he would follow it up with a tighter hug and put his cheek on their head before letting go. Never did I see this asked for, and I always felt uncomfortable seeing it happen but told myself it was probably fine. The body language of the women being kissed on the head seemed uncertain, seemingly vulnerable and receptive initially but would appear to turn visibly uncomfortable. A friend of mine in the group also commented to me about this behavior and how it made her uncomfortable as well, as he would do this with her, which confirmed what I was observing and the effect it was having. There was a general uncertainty around it, because it seemed the assumption was that Dave’s actions were presumed to be normal in some aspect, despite it not being normal to those seeing and experiencing it outside of that group. I never presumed that there was a power dynamic to this, but I think my perception was a bit swayed by my view of Dave’s spiritual authority. He’s very knowledgeable about scripture and faith, and I believe that added to my view from early on that he could do no wrong. It’s a very common thing in the group to view whatever Dave says as the ultimate truth, and to essentially seek approval from him for final answers in many situations. So, the strange behaviors, both physical and psychological, get written off or dismissed because of his tenured headship and spiritual authority.
I don’t doubt that Dave hears from the Lord, but we are all fallible and capable of hearing something that is not actually from the Lord. There were times regarding my situation that I did not believe that what Dave said came from the Lord, and there were other times where I knew what he said did indeed come from the Lord. The view in the group, however, is strongly seen as: Dave hears from the Lord in everything at all times. There have been several people I’ve known that were in the group for many years and left for various reasons involving strange, divisive and hurtful behavior from group leadership dynamics. I can’t speak to anyone else’s situation in great detail, but it’s clear these have been far from isolated incidents.