Quinn’s Testimony - Full Version

by Quinn

Real Names: Quinn, Dave, Kathy, Suli

Pseudonyms: Grace, Ryan, William, Henry

Note:

Many, but not all, of the facts I cite in this story can be corroborated by meeting notes and journal entries timestamped very close to the actual date they were written.

Full Story

My name is Quinn.  I came to Friday Night for the first time in January 2015.  People are drawn to Friday Night for a variety of reasons, but I had a passion for scripture and felt I could sink my teeth in and learn a lot there, in large part from Dave.

By January 2021, I was part of Dave’s inner circle, a small group that met on Monday Nights for 2.5-3 hours to plan Friday Night meetings, discuss any issues that were coming up, study scripture, talk about what was going on in each of our lives, and pray for God’s direction and blessing over the group.

On May 15, 2023, Dave delivered an extremely emphatic prophetic word to me that led me to believe it was God’s will for me to marry Grace, a young woman in the group with whom I had a great friendship but had never dated.  It was odd.  He didn’t come out and say the words, “God is telling me you are supposed to marry Grace,” but that was very much the message I came away with.  He used leading questions while speaking with intense, mystical conviction.  I was told to “act quickly.”  At the end of the night, he emphatically stated, “that was NOT from me.” – basically a less KJV-sounding “thus saith the LORD.”  In 8+ years of ministry with Dave, I had never heard him so confident he was receiving a message directly from God.  Most of the time, when he spoke prophetically, he would use language and tone that indicated uncertainty, and this was a stark contrast to that.  In fact, I felt that it was such a powerful spiritual experience that it would be borderline disobedient to ask other prophets who hadn’t been present to confirm the message.¹

¹ My Biblical reference point for this was Luke 1:20, where Zacharias is made temporarily mute for not believing Gabriel’s words.

At the time I did not understand the odd juxtaposition of being somewhat indirect while extremely forceful at the same time.  It makes sense to me now as either something Dave used to morally justify his actions to himself in the moment, or plant seeds of plausible deniability to protect himself in the future (or both).

Here is my journal entry (same as above) from the original night.  It’s timestamped May 16, 2023, because I made a couple edits the next day.

At the time, my scriptural framework for dealing with prophecy consisted primarily of Matthew 7:15ff and 1 Corinthians 14:29:

Matt. 7:15 ¶ “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

Matt. 7:16 “You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?

1Cor. 14:29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others pass judgment.

At the time, I believed Dave had really good fruit in his life and had impacted a lot of people’s lives for the better.  I had no idea how many people he had seriously harmed.  Typically, people would just have bad experiences, leave the group, and tell very few people if any.  And he had many failed prophecies I was unaware of, including ones delivered with intensity and emphasis like the one he gave me.  I was unaware of all of this even though I was part of the inner circle and Dave would point to us as a source of accountability for him.

Two other men were present the night of the original prophecy: Ryan and William.  Ryan confirmed the word immediately; William neither confirmed nor denied it.  Later that night, Ryan modified his confirmation:

I went home from that meeting already convinced Dave was right – again, based on Matthew 7:15, the manner of Dave’s delivery, and my false perception of Dave’s character and prophetic legitimacy.  In my mind, when someone delivers a prophecy with that level of intensity and confidence, there’s no middle ground – you’re either speaking from the Holy Spirit or you’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  The information I had available to me at the time pretty much ruled out the wolf possibility.

The next day, I prayed and believed I heard a confirmation of Dave’s word.  In retrospect, it’s not surprising to me that I “heard” that.  I believe Dave prophesies by his own spirit (see Ezekiel 13 and Jeremiah 23:16ff) and trains others to do the same.  His intense conviction and my perception of him as a godly prophet created an internal disposition from which I then “heard a word,” because what am I doing?  Prophesying by my own spirit. 

When I told Grace everything several days later, she was completely shocked, but she also thought she heard a confirmation.

Within 2-3 weeks of receiving the original word, I was at Friday Night with Grace when she questioned Dave.  She brought up the fact that much earlier in the year, she had received a prophetic word herself saying that she would not meet her potential next partner until December, which would be after she finished school.  According to Grace, Dave himself had confirmed that word.  Dave responded by immediately blurting out, “You’ll meet him at the altar!”  Grace recalls telling Dave that she liked the idea of a December wedding, so that idea may have provided a rationale for Dave to reinterpret Grace’s prophetic word.  We accepted his judgment.  In retrospect, this indicates that Dave, Grace, and I all believed that Dave had unilateral authority to decide what is true when presented with contradictory prophecies.  No one suggested bringing in a third party, even though 1 Cor 14:29 clearly says “let the others [plural] pass judgment.”  Dave’s explanation, “you’ll meet him at the altar,” provides surface-level validation of Grace’s word, but in reality simply renders it null in favor of Dave’s word.

Around the same time, Dave told us at Friday Night that he felt so strongly about it, he would marry us the following week if we wanted.  This was not a joke, he was completely serious.

Time wore on.  The relationship had good elements, but very significant problems as well.  However, I moved forward based on my conviction that God had spoken.  I would share my relationship struggles with my Monday Night group and consistently be encouraged to press on by Dave and Ryan.  I don’t recall William expressing much of an opinion one way or the other.  The message was basically that everyone had confirmed the word, God uses suffering to build our faith, and we have to trust what God says rather than our own understanding.  In my mind those were all biblically valid points, so I pressed on, believing God would provide in one way or another.  We planned our wedding for 12/28/23.

Another time, I wanted to make absolutely sure we were on the same page, and I asked Dave to confirm his understanding was that God had said this is His will period, not that it was something I was to consider / try out / etc.  Dave confirmed that was his understanding (it was mine as well).

On 10/27/23, I contacted another prophet that had been discipled by Dave but was no longer at Friday Night, to get another opinion.  Initially, he was taken aback to find out that Dave had been the one to speak the prophecy, rather than me receiving it from God directly.  He suggested it could be a case of spiritual abuse / spiritual manipulation – two terms I had virtually no familiarity with, despite having been to seminary and been at Friday Night for 8 years.  We met up in person on 11/1/23 and he asked me about my history of relationships, etc.  He was encouraged by this conversation and felt like everything was making more sense.  At the end of the night, we prayed, and he believed he received a confirmation.  He assured me that if he felt Dave had spiritually manipulated me, he would have no problem rebuking Dave to his face.

Grace and I met with Dave and Kathy on 11/12/23.  I was emotionally raw from depression and anxiety over the problems in our relationship.  I told them I was dreading my marriage, and that I had a deep gut feeling that we had taken a wrong turn down a horrible path.  To Kathy’s credit, she spoke up and said something along the lines of: “Dave, dread is a strong word!”  I also brought up the fact that the word had come through Dave and not to me directly.  Kathy immediately looked at Dave with anger, as if he had done something wrong.  Shockingly, Dave simply denied remembering that it happened that way.  I was extremely confused and angry.  I thought it was black-and-white.  Kathy said she would be “very upset and very surprised” (exact words) to find out Dave had been the one to speak the prophecy to me.

When I went home that night, I looked at my journal entry (pasted above) and confirmed it was as black-and-white as I had thought.  Dave just lied.  I couldn’t believe it, I was furious.  Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t have the journal entry.  Would he have been able to gaslight me into believing it happened otherwise?

The following night, the four of us met with five additional people to seek counsel.  Most if not all of these people had been discipled by Dave or Kathy directly.  At the time I believed I was casting a wide net of godly people who could pray and give us good counsel, but it was just an echo chamber.

When I walked in, I was extremely angry, and I am sure it was visible in my body language.  Dave stood up and gestured like he wanted to give me a hug.  I did not want him to touch me in any way, shape, or form, but I had a strong feeling that if I did not comply, I would be perceived as coming in the wrong spirit and any fault I tried to point out in Dave wouldn’t be taken seriously.

The first thing I wanted to address was the fact that the prophecy came from Dave, not me.  There were probably 5-6 attempts to deflect the conversation away from that topic from various people in the room.  It was unbelievable.

Dave once again denied that the word came through him.  Someone deflected by saying, “what matters is what is God saying now.”  Another person reminded me that I had already promised to marry Grace, insinuating that I had an obligation to follow through.  Another person said he completely understood why I felt the way I did, but that he thought I was right where I needed to be.

One woman supposedly got a vision for me and delivered it in a super intense, emotional way, which caused me to break down, since I was already emotionally raw coming into the meeting.  The vision suggested my mom had neglected me as a small child, suggesting that was the reason for the problems in my relationship with Grace.  That vision was false, but I had no way of knowing at the time, because it was about my very early childhood.²  The group interpreted my emotional response as a sign that the Holy Spirit was working.  And, of course, the vision reinforced Dave’s original prophecy by explaining that the problems in our relationship were due to unresolved trauma – the idea being that once that trauma is resolved in a counseling context or possibly miraculously healed, everything will be great.

² I asked my mom about it later and neither of us can recollect anything that would remotely validate the vision.

I brought my laptop with me that night and told the group directly I had evidence (i.e. the journal entry above) that would settle the matter of who spoke the prophecy.  Not a single person in the room expressed interest in seeing the evidence, the subject was simply changed away from it.

Kathy completely changed her tune from the prior night, going from “I would be very upset” to saying it was her preference if Dave not initiate prophecies like that.  I called her on it directly, saying she had done a complete 180 from the prior night.  She shouted over me: “No!”  This was a gaslighting lie – an attempt to convince Grace and me that what we heard with our own ears only 24 hours prior was not true.  On top of that, it was really unclear to me what exactly the problem would even be if Dave had originated the prophecy. All I knew was the other prophet had taken issue with it but then changed his mind, and then Kathy seemed to have a problem with it but also changed her mind.

Looking back, the overall feel of the evening was that everyone else had already decided what God’s will for our lives was, and their role was to say “encouraging” things that would get us to do it.  No one seemed to believe that all the facts should simply be laid out for Grace and I to consider so that we could make our own decision.

One woman spoke up, indicating that when Kathy got angry with Dave the previous night over initiating the prophecy, it was because of her spiritual gift (mercy).  The idea is that people with this spiritual gift rush to defend people who are hurting.  This comment seemed to provide spiritual cover for Dave, by explaining that Kathy’s anger the previous night had been rooted in empathy rather than fact – she had felt a certain way but it didn’t mean Dave did anything wrong.

The thrust of the whole night was that everyone believed the prophecy was from God.  How could I possibly go against that?  Even I myself had prayed and thought I heard a confirmation.  Was I now going to throw out a word from God because it didn’t seem right from a human perspective?

Kathy said she would support me no matter what decision I made, and someone else said there was no rush and we could postpone.  To me, those statements rang hollow in light of the overall upshot of the evening, which was that the prophecy was totally legitimate.  To me, the statements boil down to: “we’ll support you even if you want to disobey God” and “you can put off God’s will if you’re scared / nervous.”  Dave later told me privately that he did not agree with Kathy’s statement about supporting us no matter what decision we made, because God had spoken.  I agreed with Dave, and in a way I still do: if God gives someone a command, it makes zero sense to tell them you’ll support them in disobeying it.  

But statements like “we’ll support you either way” allow leaders to practice spiritual manipulation and then shield themselves / blame the victim afterward by claiming a choice was offered.  Sure, you can pick Door A or Door B, it’s totally your choice!  But also, Door A is God’s will, we all heard Door A, even you heard Door A.

I spoke to Dave privately at the end of the night, and he admitted being the one to speak the prophecy originally.  He explained that Kathy tended to get in the way of his prophetic ministry.  Seeing how flustered he was in front of the group and how willing he was to speak plainly with me in private, it seemed that he was simply afraid of Kathy’s reaction.  I accepted his explanation and moved on.  In retrospect, obviously it was not okay for him to lie, and I should have called it out as sin.

So, why did I come away from that night still trusting Dave and Kathy and the prophetic word?  Several reasons:

• The comment (noted above) that I had already promised to marry Grace appealed to my sense of integrity and didn’t feel manipulative at the time.  Also, I just didn’t want to let her down.  The idea of dragging her into this and then cutting it off at the last minute was horrifying.  I would’ve felt like a monster.

• There were other “encouraging” things said that made sense to me at the time.

• It was not believable to me that we could get all these wise / godly people together, pray as a group, and come to a completely wrong conclusion that would severely damage Grace’s life and mine.

• The Bible does not say a prophet cannot give someone a life-altering message, so Kathy’s anger over that seemed arbitrary.  At the time, I had no clue that it was relatively common for abusive churches and cults to exert control over their members’ personal life decisions, especially marriage.

• Fundamentally, I knew prophets had to be judged by their fruit.  I believed Dave had had very positive impacts on many people’s lives including my own, and I simply wasn’t aware of all the damage he had already done.

• Overall, I believed that people had said things that were not right that night and not engaged in a healthy way, but I thought that God was working in the meeting in spite of those unhealthy things.  Looking back, it was just a cacophony of lies, gaslighting, manipulation, covering for the leaders, and a false vision – made possible by years of being trained to think that Dave is a reliable prophet, and he and Kathy are the experts on relationships and ministry, so you should just trust them even if your instincts tell you otherwise.

On 11/16/23, I met with a counselor named Henry.  I was referred to Henry by someone connected to Friday Night.  I gave Henry some insight into the origins of my relationship with Grace, but I also asked him to evaluate it from a purely clinical standpoint.  I was extremely careful to be as objective as possible, not painting the situation too positively or negatively.  At the end of our first meeting, he said he thought I had a good thing.  This, combined with the “positive” items noted above, helped me make a final decision to move forward with the wedding.  

We got married in December 2023, and we were distracted for a while with the logistics of combining our lives, but when the dust settled the same significant problems persisted.

In mid-2024, I was still struggling in my marriage and I met with Dave to discuss (Ryan was there too).  He asked me about my childhood, and I shared some negative experiences I had growing up.  It was all fairly run-of-the-mill – there were things that weren’t perfect, but nothing abusive.  Dave looked me right in the eye and declared: “Your mother abused you. And your father abused you.”  He provided no explanation or justification for his claims.  I was shocked.  I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything at the time.  Something about how intense, long, and personal this meeting was seemed to kind of normalize what would otherwise be absurd.  I wasn’t sure if he was speaking prophetically or not.  The whole thing was just jarring and confusing.  Months later, I questioned him on it, and he eventually settled on the defense that he must have been projecting.  He said he was sorry if he said anything that was out of line.  I let it go at the time.  In 2025, I would learn that it’s a common practice in cults to attempt to delegitimize members’ families of origin.  I believe his goal (possibly conscious but more likely subconscious) was to destabilize my connection to family to create emotional dependency on him so that he could increase his power over me.  It didn’t work because I knew my parents had not abused me; there was no gray area.  How sinister it would’ve been if I had been abused and Dave had capitalized on it.

On 8/25/24, Grace and I met with Dave because there were still unresolved issues in the back of my mind surrounding the events leading up to our marriage.  Dave again fully acknowledged he was the one who spoke the prophecy originally.  I called him out on the fact that he could now remember what he claimed not to be able to remember in November 2023.  His response?  He simply claimed to not remember contesting the fact in November 2023.  So now there are multiple layers of amnesia:

• May 2023: originate prophecy

• November 2023: deny it happened

• August 2024: admit it happened; deny having denied it in November 2023

Another time in 2024 (I cannot remember exactly when), I asked Dave when he had ever been wrong about a prophecy.  He said he could not recall any time he had been wrong.

I started looking into two of Dave’s old prophecies: the Coin of the Realm, and the Belarus prophecy (covered in Cara’s Testimony).  The Coin of the Realm presented a really clear-cut case where Dave issued a very confident prophecy, it was confirmed by his community, and it was completely false.  For me, this really opened up the possibility that Dave’s prophecy about Grace and me could be false.  It certainly didn’t help that Dave never admitted he was wrong about Coin of the Realm or Belarus.

By 3/17/25, I was completely convinced that Dave had given me a false prophecy that had caused massive destruction to Grace’s life and mine.  But I wanted to give him one last chance to explain how he could possibly be right.  I questioned him at our typical Monday Night meeting, so Ryan was there as well, but William happened to be absent that night.

I questioned him on his Coin of the Realm prophecy, and he offered a flimsy defense, pointing to the story of Jonah.  For more detail, see my separate testimony The Coin of This Realm.

Similarly, I asked him about the Belarus prophecy, which he had shared with our Monday Night group on multiple occasions.  The bulk of the incident is documented in Cara’s Testimony, who was there in the 2000s when Dave was first telling people about it.  According to Cara, when the prophecy failed, Dave interpreted it as having been a test from God.  Interestingly, when he relayed it to us in the 2020s, he insisted that God gave him a message He knew Dave would misinterpret in order to get him to do something that would result in good.  That’s awfully close to saying God told a manipulative lie.

On 3/17, I told him his explanation was far-fetched compared to the simpler explanation that he didn’t hear it from God.  I also called into question the idea that God would deliberately deceive someone to achieve this purpose.  He cited 1 Kings 22 as a defense, a story involving God sending a lying spirit into the mouths of Ahab’s prophets to give him false assurance of victory so that he would die in battle.  I pointed out that that doesn’t fit, because Ahab was under God’s judgment.  Dave basically shrugged and said God could still use a lying spirit that way to accomplish His purposes.

Side note: The Ahab incident fits a broader biblical theme of a kind of judicial abandonment of people who have persistently rejected truth.  Examples would be God hardening Pharoah’s heart, or God giving immoral people over to a depraved mind (Rom 1:28).  Dave’s theory, on the other hand, would make God some kind of powertripping puppetmaster who arbitrarily screws with His own people.

Notice also that this theory preserves Dave’s own reputation and prophetic legitimacy while maligning God’s character.  It seems there is no one on earth or even in heaven above that Dave is not willing to throw under the bus to avoid simply admitting he was wrong.

But Dave didn’t just do interpretive gymnastics to maintain his own credibility.  He covered up the truth in a desperate bid to manipulate me.  When I brought up the Coin of the Realm prophecy, Ryan falsely claimed Dave had been in Zimbabwe at the time he delivered the prophecy.³  It’s a fairly easy mistake to make.  Here’s a snippet from Dave’s original Coin of the Realm email:

³ If Dave had in fact been in Zimbabwe, it would’ve provided a possible route for the prophecy to be true, because of some economic things happening there at the time.

If you read it carefully, he clearly wasn’t in Zimbabwe at the time he received the prophecy.  But when Ryan made this false statement, Dave allowed it to go unchecked.  He just looked at me and said “Oh, okay,” awaiting my response.  He clearly saw an opportunity to use a misunderstanding to prop up his false prophecy.

Mind you, earlier in this conversation, Dave recounted the much older Belarus prophecy in vivid detail, going on a monologue for 3-4 minutes straight, and having no issue remembering details.  But when it came to simply remembering what continent he was on for the Coin of the Realm prophecy, that was too much to ask.

I also brought up Dave’s override of Grace’s earlier prophecy that she wouldn’t meet her next potential partner until December of 2023.  He began saying, “well, if I said to her ‘perhaps the interpretation of that could be’…”. until I cut him off mid-sentence to remind him that his response was immediate, and that it was confidently asserted.  Notice this is yet another time that Dave is implicitly claiming to not remember what actually happened.  That’s four times in this story alone Dave had trouble remembering.  Why does he have such a hard time remembering events that would call his character into question?

I pointed out to Dave that in other situations (including the Coin of the Realm prophecy⁴), he would emphasize that people should prioritize what they themselves hear from God, as opposed to what a prophet is hearing on their behalf. Dave shrugged and basically said that God works in a variety of ways and maybe the Spirit gave him that utterance in that moment.

It was a long conversation.  There was more discussed that I may share at some point.

When I left Friday Night, for years I had been leading a Wednesday evening discipleship group and a Saturday afternoon Bible study.  Then we had Monday Night meetings.  My wife hosted girls’ night on Thursday nights at our house, and she attended Dave’s Saturday morning women’s discipleship group.  I mention all this in case at some point in the future someone tries to paint a narrative that the people who have problems with Dave are only half-committed or only there for a brief time.  I may well understand Dave’s theology as well as anyone, and because of this investigation, his patterns of spiritual abuse as well.  Disbelieve me at your own risk.

⁴ Direct quote from Dave’s 11/5/15 Coin of the Realm email: “Many others have been asking for advice, and one called, bothered that I had not given more specific direction. But the counsel I gave is still true—pray, listen, and obey His word to you.”

Aftermath

I left that last meeting with Dave and Ryan on 3/17/25 on good terms.  I was convinced Dave’s prophecy to me was false, but I thought he had provided it in good faith with good intentions.  It was only after I got home and saw that Dave lied about the Zimbabwe thing that I got angry.  Were it not for that, this website might not exist.

There was something deeply wrong about that lie.  He tried to capitalize on someone else’s false statement in order to build scaffolding around his false prophecy.  To do that, while claiming to represent the true God, would be like using witchcraft to charm someone into accepting Christ.  It is a desecration.  Yet knowing Dave’s patterns, I am nearly certain he justified it in his own mind because he did not technically utter a false statement, but rather allowed Ryan’s statement to go uncorrected.  

““Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, that is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple is obligated.’” ⁵

It was the scribes and Pharisees who were wrapped up in technicalities as a means of neglecting what is right.

After we left Friday Night, Suli asked Dave about what happened with us.  According to Suli, Dave said the following (Suli reviewed these bullet points for accuracy):

1. The evening of May 15 was merely a discussion, nothing prophetic happened.

2. Quinn subsequently received his own prophecy.

3. Quinn is walking away from the faith.

4. Quinn despises prophecy (in general, not just Dave’s).

All four are false.

(1) and (2) are contradicted by my original journal entry (above, near the top of the story).  Several people in the group have verified the timestamp on that file.  If you want to see it yourself, feel free to reach out to me.

(3) and (4) are false, though I have no way to prove I’m not lying.

⁵ Matt. 23:16, NASB 1995

Appendix

From what I understand, Dave and Kathy are trying to do quite a bit of damage control by highlighting how strongly they emphasized to me that if I wasn’t sure about the marriage, not to move forward.  That’s a half truth at best.  I’d like to explain in detail what exactly was said at different times.  These events are in no particular order.

Events 1 and 2

Narrated in the story above – “Kathy said she would support us no matter what decision we made, and someone else said there was no rush and we could postpone.”  I explain above why those statements meant basically nothing to me.  I also explain how Dave told me privately afterward that he did not agree with Kathy’s statement.

Event 3

There was one time during the engagement period I was expressing doubts to Dave and he began to say, “Well, if you’re not convinced in your own mind…”  I responded by saying that I was convinced in my own mind, but that a major reason for my confidence was the intensity and conviction with which he had delivered the original message – essentially that I had never heard him so confident he was hearing from the Lord.  He could have used that opportunity to say that that was a red flag and we needed to slow down / reevaluate.  He did not.

Event 4

The Monday Night group was at a restaurant for dinner and we were talking about prophecy.  Dave was talking about how so much of the time people receive a message themselves and then the prophet is there only to confirm what God has already been speaking.  He was essentially making it sound like prophets have a lesser role than some might think.  I immediately blurted out, “that’s not how it was with me, though.”  Dave sort of got quiet at that point.  I continued by explaining that thankfully, Dave was not just some random guy but a leader whom I had a long-established relationship with and had seen good fruit in.

Event 5

I was explaining to the Monday Night group how poorly things were going in my relationship, and Dave asked if I had a plan to pull the plug.  I don’t remember the exact terminology he used.  The idea seemed to be a predetermined cutoff point where if the relationship hadn’t improved to a certain point by a certain time, I would call it off.  This question was very strange to me, because in my mind that was a totally illegitimate option if God tells you to do something.  We celebrate Abraham’s faith precisely because he did not have a cutoff point.  So I was confused as to why Dave would ask that.  I don’t remember exactly what I said in response, probably something close to “Uhh, no?”  I don’t remember Ryan’s exact words, but I remember him clearly agreeing that it was an illegitimate option.  I went away unsure what Dave’s motivation for that question was.  This entire interaction happened in the space of about 15 seconds, and then the topic moved elsewhere.  Discussions with Dave didn’t often involve questions like, “Why are you asking that question?” or “Please elaborate on your thought process of why it occurred to you to say that.”

Event 6

At the end of the 11/12/23 meeting with Dave and Kathy, Dave suggested I do a Gideon fleece-type test.  Looking back, I wonder: if he believes in that type of thing, why didn’t he suggest it at the beginning of the process, instead of a month and a half before the wedding?

I would have set up some kind of Gideon test when I got home, were it not for the fact that the first thing I did was look up my journal entry and confirm that Dave had lied to everyone during the meeting.  That sent me into a rage, on top of the already horrible, chaotic mix of emotions I was experiencing.  So I completely forgot about the Gideon thing.  Again – you might not be reading this right now were it not for that lie.

Summary

In my mind, none of the above instances provided any kind of “out” for me.  A real out would’ve been someone notifying me about Dave’s prophetic track record and/or past moral failures. Again, it’s back to Matthew 7:15-20 – how was I supposed to disbelieve Dave if all his bad fruit was hidden from view?

In the end, I got married because I believed I would be turning my back on God if I did not.  That’s it.  This is a long story (thank you for reading to this point), but at the end of the day, it’s no more complicated than that.

FAQ

Q: Wait, I thought you heard from God directly? Isn’t that what you said during the engagement period?

A: At the time, I felt very strongly that I could trust Dave.  I felt he had been selfless in giving me a word that couldn’t possibly benefit him but could result in him receiving backlash.  I had no idea some people got off on feeling powerful and controlling other people’s lives – that was a totally foreign concept to me.  I knew Dave couldn’t benefit monetarily or sexually, so I didn’t question his motives.  All that to say, I would tell people that God spoke to me.  Since at the time I believed I had heard a confirmation of Dave’s prophecy, in my mind I was telling the truth, just not the full truth.

Q: Do you think Dave believed he heard this word from God, or that he made it up completely?

A: I believe he believed he was hearing from God.  I think it’s an Ezekiel 13 case – “prophets who are following their own spirit and have seen nothing” (v3).  Jeremiah 23:16 also refers to prophets who “speak a vision of their own imagination.”   In 10 years at Friday Night, I never heard these chapters discussed, whether in the main meeting or in a discipleship group with Dave, or any other Friday Night context.  This is in spite of the fact that Dave fairly regularly teaches on obscure texts.  

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Dave clearly also believed in his own mind that Grace and I would be a good couple, and had expressed sentiments along those lines many times beforehand.

Q: If the word came from Dave’s own spirit / imagination, what would be the subconscious motivation?

A: Impossible to know for sure, but I have some ideas.

• Power / ego gratification.  It reinforces the idea that Dave is the one who receives divine revelation for other people’s lives.  And it makes him important, because his influence has a permanent effect on their life as well as generations to come.

• “Locking” people in – marry two Friday Night people, and you may well have their loyalty for life.  Unfortunately for Dave, it didn’t quite work out that way this time.

• Engineering dysfunction – if a relationship is built with fundamental flaws, it keeps people needy and turning to Dave and Kathy for support, since one of their main ministries is pre-marital and marital counseling.

Quinn’s Testimony - Summary Only

by Quinn

Real Names: Quinn, Dave, Kathy, Suli

Pseudonyms: Grace, Ryan, William, Henry

Due to the private nature of this story, we are currently only posting the summary. The full details may or may not be shared at a later date.

Summary

This is the story of how Dave used false prophecy, deception, and manipulation to coerce my marriage to Grace — and then lied and slandered me to protect himself.

• On May 15, 2023, Dave gave me an emphatic prophecy that led me to believe it was God’s will for me to marry Grace. He spoke with intense fervor, insisting it was not from him. This leveraged the trust I had built in him over eight years as a spiritual leader and supposed prophet.

• I wrote the following journal entry in response, timestamped 5/16/23 since I made some edits the following day.  If you’d like to be able to see the timestamp for yourself, please let me know.

• When Grace’s earlier prophecy contradicted his, Dave reinterpreted hers to render it meaningless.

• During my engagement struggles, I was transparent with Dave. He consistently urged me to press on, even privately dismissing Kathy when she offered me freedom of choice.

• When it came up in a group context, Dave denied responsibility: “I thought we were asking you questions.” But in other contexts, he freely admitted the prophecy came through him.

• After the marriage, things worsened. Dave doubled down with another false prophecy reinforcing his original one.

• Then I discovered this was not an isolated incident but part of a long history of confidently asserted false prophecies, including the Belarus prophecy (from the 2000s) and the Coin of the Realm prophecy (from 2015).  Additionally, the Coin of the Realm prophecy had been confirmed by Dave’s community.

On March 17, 2025, I confronted Dave. He:

• Took no responsibility for his failed prophecies.

• Provided implausible explanations by which they might still be true.

• Tried to justify overriding Grace’s prophecy without prayer or reflection.

• Let someone else tell a false story about the “Coin of the Realm” prophecy — and allowed it to stand, to manipulate me into believing it was valid.

Finally, after I left Friday Night, Dave told slanderous lies about me to Suli, claiming:

• The evening of May 15 was merely a discussion, nothing prophetic happened.

• Quinn subsequently received his own prophecy.

• Quinn is walking away from the faith.

• Quinn despises prophecy (in general, not just Dave’s).

Suli reviewed the above bullet points for accuracy.

The Kidney Donor’s Story

by Rebecca L.

Note: The names Rachelle, Kirk, and Marvin are pseudonyms for actual names.

History

 I met Dave and Kathy in 2006 after moving to Arizona. They were people of faith who tried to answer my questions about Christianity, but couldn’t satisfy the ones that kept me from returning to it. After meeting my husband in 2007, who finally answered those questions, I accepted Christ, and we began seeking Dave and Kathy as a couple for counsel.

They supported us through many struggles, but I didn't realize the subtle conditioning they began introducing. I remember attending one Friday night where a woman asked for prayer about going on a mission trip. The group surrounded her, prayed, and gave yes/no answers as if receiving direct guidance from God. I felt uncomfortable, as Jim and I had studied Decision Making and the Will of God by Greg Koukl, which taught that this wasn’t a biblical method. As we grew closer to the group, Dave affirmed this as a biblical way of hearing from the Lord. Grateful and eager for more of God's presence, we embraced this approach.

Kidney Donation 

Though Dave and Kathy continued to help with relational issues, we attended Friday night sporadically due to work and living 45 minutes away. In 2017, I felt led to donate a kidney to Kathy, who was in kidney failure. After tests showed I was likely a match, things looked hopeful.

In April 2018, Mayo Clinic doctors found a liver spot and warned that donating a kidney could complicate future pregnancies. I struggled with the decision, but with my husband’s encouragement, I decided to continue with the process. Kathy did know that I had been going through the process to see if I would qualify. At some point, we learned Kathy had turned down a cadaver kidney based on a "listening prayer" session of three people that claimed they heard from God it had to be ranked under 40. (*all kidneys have a ranking system- the lower the number the more healthy the kidney.) When one came ranked at 38, prophets they knew and their family prayed if she should take it and heard "no". After learning I was a match two weeks later, they reinterpreted the number to mean my age when I agreed to donate.  Ultimately, I did feel that giving Kathy my kidney was the right choice and that I did have an extra measure of faith to do so. At the time I thought nothing of the cadaver kidney story. However, my current reflection on the cadaver kidney situation, and what I have since learned about how Dave teaches and handles prophecy, leaves me questioning how it was handled.

Jim’s Health

 In May 2020, Jim developed Parsonage Turner Syndrome and faced potential paralysis. He found a therapist who electrocuted him with DC current for 12 weeks in a row to get his nerves talking to each other. Miraculously it worked. He also had continuing shoulder problems and 10 bulging spinal discs that left him unable to work and in constant pain. I took extra jobs, but we still couldn’t cover our bills. Despite qualifying for disability, Jim was ineligible due to not paying into FICA for five years.

In July 2022, I accepted a low-paying full-time job that provided fast-activating health benefits.  A friend reported to us his experience of full restoration with the success of stem cells, but they were not covered under any insurance, and Jim was wary of spine surgery, especially after the previous threat of paralysis. We knew we didn’t have a choice but to sell our house to get Jim treated and pay our bills. Selling our house felt like a no-win situation, as Jim would likely lose his business and be left vulnerable at his age of nearly 60.

Attending Friday Night/Dave’s conduct

We attended Friday nights intermittently, especially during and after the pandemic. Jim often listened online due to pain. I regularly asked Dave, Kathy, and the community for prayer regarding our financial and health crises, as we were continually going into more and more debt, and facing foreclosure despite loans we borrowed from other family members (which hugely detrimented our familial relationships.) From 2021- 2023 I had texted Dave and Kathy for emotional support many times, expressing fearfulness of our financial situation and the emotional impact. After multiple incidents of us both meeting with them, and Jim with Dave, Jim always came away discouraged. As I look back, I noticed that Dave and Kathy did tend to side with me, and there wasn’t much compassion/encouragement from Dave towards Jim, despite his crippling circumstances of health, losing a parent, strain on our relationship, and suicidal thoughts, as I told him that Jim had been struggling with about 6 months before we sold our home. At the time I remember being grateful I had support, and thought this was supposed to be a husband’s responsibility to try harder since I was trying my best to hold up the other end.

Dave's False Prophecy and Manipulation 

In late spring 2023, we decided to prepare our house for the market. Before listing, I asked Dave and Kathy for prayer. Kathy mentioned they were also struggling financially, and I remember thinking I wanted to bless them after the sale.

God provided good friends, Jeremiah and Rachelle, who lent us money and helped us repair the house. We specifically sought Dave’s wisdom, and he believed that we should sell the house including the studio. In July, we ran out of funds and faced foreclosure. Jim asked Dave for a loan. Dave reluctantly gave $3,000, then texted a week later claiming God said Jim was cursed for not tithing, referencing Malachi 3 and Genesis 4. (His story details this account).

This shocked us, especially since we had tithed in cash twice in previous years from his mother’s  inheritance and insurance money—despite being broke. Dave’s message contradicted 2 Corinthians 9, which warns against giving under compulsion, however, this didn’t occur to me at the time. We were desperate and I accepted its truth based on trust in Dave’s prophetic nature we had come to believe in. 

On August 31st, we asked Dave for more financial help with our electric bill, but he referred us to a financial adviser, which confused us, because the adviser couldn't assist financially. Rachelle then confronted Dave about refusing to help even after I had donated my kidney. She asked him if he would lend us money if there wasn’t any in the church fund because we were in a strained situation. He reacted suspiciously, saying he didn’t think we knew how to handle money. She told him that this wasn’t the time to be making that type of case because of the desperate position we were in. He then replied attempting to make the case that this was our fault. She was shocked and pushed back against his statement, but he still refused.

 In the midst of our sorrow, Jim wrote a beautiful worship song to glorify the Lord despite the suffering we were going through. I encouraged him to play it for our Friday night church because it was so beautiful. We asked Dave if we could perform it and if that would somehow allow God to release funds to us.  After pressing him on the phone, he said yes, that he thought maybe the funds would be released if Jim performed that worship song. In late September of 2023, we performed the song for all of Friday night. After we performed it, Dave later confirmed that the song was the release, and lent us the other chunk of money to pay our electric bill.

In October of 2023, after 97 days with no good offers, we added a bedroom and no longer planned to sell with a studio, ignoring Dave's advice. But by then, the market had died for the winter and we had to take it off the market. After taking on a roommate in November to help pay the bills and gaining a new realtor in March 2024, we ran into a final situation where we would foreclose on our house if we didn’t borrow more money. Dave resisted, but with our realtor’s encouragement, he loaned us what we needed. We finally sold the house within six weeks. Under fear of a curse, Jim and I gave Dave and Kathy $30,000 in addition to repaying the loans. Jim also mentioned to Dave that he had an idea to give $10,000 of the tithe to Marvin, a close disciple of Dave’s, since he was starting as a new associate pastor at a church.  Dave refused, stating that Marvin didn’t need the money because he worked a full time job (despite the fact that he and his wife live in an apartment while Dave owns 2 houses). Jim replied, ‘Ok, it’s your tithe,’ because again, we believed it was supposed to go to him because the Lord told Dave we were cursed.  He told us to write the check to "Church of Phoenix." We trusted it would be used faithfully.

Dave’s Unrepentant Behavior 

While awaiting stem cell treatment, Jim continued struggling with Dave’s behavior. Dave often used a passive-aggressive tone. Once, when Jim asked to discuss a topic, Dave replied sarcastically. Another time, Dave harshly scolded Jim for teaching flamenco on Dave’s guitar to another believer, saying it should only be used for worship, both situations creating embarrassment.

On my birthday- the same night Jim gave Dave our official tithe check, Jim came with me despite his excessive pain, and someone else taught on logical fallacies for apologetics—a topic we had requested to lead the year before because of Jim’s extensive studies on it. Dave never followed up with us but had promoted another person. Even more hurtful, he didn’t even assign Jim to lead a small group that night, and later claimed he hadn’t seen him, though Jim sat beside me while Dave sang me Happy Birthday.

Jim confronted Dave twice about these directly hostile and passive aggressive quips and received hollow apologies and explanations to excuse his behavior. At a later event in front of multiple witnesses, Dave mocked him with, "Oh great, another Jim question." That was the breaking point. Jim was very angry and didn’t know how to address the issue any further, so I offered to advocate.

Approaching Another Leader

 On March 30th, 2025, I planned to attend another event but suddenly felt anxious.  The wife of Kirk, another leader in the group, had been texting me at that moment and I asked her to pray for me. I then felt a need to go to Saturday night house church instead. I told Jim I had a sense I needed to go ahead of time, but I didn’t understand why. After our meeting, I felt prompted to speak with Kirk, who had shown evidence of character and humility in past conversations.

We began talking late at night after the others had left, and within five minutes, Jim called. He felt strongly that the Spirit was prompting him that I was speaking with Kirk, and had texted me at the exact moment I began to speak with him-- confirming the importance of the conversation. When I shared this with Kirk and explained Jim’s on the spot interpretation of needing him to help advocate for our situation, Kirk looked stunned.

I explained to Kirk that Jim had already confronted Dave twice about his inappropriate behavior, but Dave had minimized his own actions, offered only hollow apologies, and now repeated the behavior again. I told Kirk that Jim couldn’t confront Dave a third time without sinning due to his hurt and anger,  that I needed emotional support in the situation, and asked if he could help me address Dave. Kirk reassured me that I was a good wife, and promised to reach out to Jim.

Two weeks later on April 11th, we found out about the spiritual manipulation of another couple denoting patterns of abuse. When we brought up the pending conversation with Kirk, they told us that Kirk had been confronted with potential wrongdoing by Dave and had deflected the conversation elsewhere. 

When Kirk later contacted Jim, he proposed discussing the matter at Saturday night house church, a group setting, inappropriate for the sensitive and serious nature of the topic. After learning about Kirk’s deflection and recalling the way he had responded to concerns about Dave’s lack of humility in the past, we declined, realizing the conversation would not be fruitful. 

The Socratic Method

 I believe God has been preparing me through discernment to expose corruption in the church. Over the past few years, I have researched extensively and used the Socratic Method to encourage deeper questions in our online church group chat. One of those questions was: "What defines a Christian cult?" I never expected that this line of questioning would lead me to uncover serious violations of Scripture by the very people I once trusted most.

Gratefulness 

I want to end with gratitude. I am grateful for the extreme generosity the Lord has given to us in this time of trial. Thank you to Rachelle and Jeremiah in helping us repair our home, and for confronting evil when seen. To Angie and Daryl for allowing the Lord to work through you and repeatedly give us an affordable place to stay through this tumultuous season. I want to praise the Lord for all of these things, including the location being 8 minutes away from a stem- cell clinic that seems to be the only one in the country that could’ve genuinely helped Jim with his intense health needs. Thank you to our family that lent us money despite the discomfort it has caused you.  And thank you to all of those from Friday and Saturday night who have supported and prayed for us through this extremely painful situation. We once more want you to know we wrote this disclosure because we love the church and all the people in it, and want her to be free from the potential damage that could be caused, providing an opportunity to grow in discernment. We continue to pray for Dave and Kathy’s repentance and restoration to the church.

Thirty Pieces of Silver

Note: Jay and Marvin are pseudonyms.

My name is Jim L, and I’m sharing my story to give voice to the pain of spiritual abuse—and to stand with others who’ve suffered under manipulative leadership. This isn’t just my story—it’s part of a wider pattern of harm. By sharing the human weight of my experience—emotional, financial, spiritual, and psychological—I hope to support the truth and help others heal.

Early Years

Rebecca and I met at work in 2007 and married the following year. In early 2009, she introduced me to Dave and Kathy.

We began attending Friday night gatherings and gradually got to know the group. In 2010, I launched my recording studio, and by 2012 I was working there full-time. Since both Rebecca and I worked weekends, we couldn’t attend the gatherings regularly.

During those years, things were amicable. Dave called me a prophet, and we generally got along. I even recorded a few of his songs. Though we visited the group occasionally, we also attended another church—our involvement remained limited.

Still, we were close to Dave and Kathy and cared about them deeply—so much so that in 2018, Rebecca donated her kidney to Kathy. Six years later, Dave would use 'prophecy' to extract $30,000 from us during our financial collapse.

The real trouble began in 2020, after I suffered a spinal cord injury. Below is an email to a client explaining my condition and why there were delays finishing their project.

A Time of Vulnerability

In 2020, a spinal injury shattered my health and brought an end to my recording business of twelve years. Medical bills drained our savings. By 2023, Rebecca and I faced the heartbreaking decision to sell our home.

For over a decade, we had faithfully supported a charity. We stopped only when we simply couldn’t give anymore. We didn’t lose faith—we ran out of resources. 

The loss wasn’t just financial. Grief mounted, compounded by the death of my mother. And in that season of vulnerability, the spiritual guidance we sought became a source of deep harm.

Between 2020 and 2022, even as our world collapsed around us, Rebecca and I gave two cash gifts to Dave and Kathy. Both were tithes—$1,200 from an insurance payout and $2,000 from a small inheritance after my mother's death. We tithed on each lump sum as an act of gratitude, even as bills mounted and savings disappeared. I share this because it's crucial to understand: Dave knew we were willing to give him money whenever we received unexpected income. He was watching our financial patterns.

A Plea for Help, Met with Condemnation

In June of 2023, Rebecca and I hosted Dave and Kathy for dinner at our home. I was in excruciating pain, confined mostly to my recliner, but we maintained our annual tradition—a June gathering to honor the anniversary of Rebecca's life-saving gift to Kathy. As they sat in our living room, we opened our hearts about our financial desperation. I was unable to work, our savings were gone, and we couldn’t cover our bills. We even told them we were thinking of selling our home. Dave thought this might be wise. He encouraged us to list it at a high price, pointing out the sound studio I had built could add significant value.

Based in part on Dave’s advice, we put our house up for sale. On July 17, 2023, I swallowed my pride and reached out to him for a loan to help us avoid foreclosure. It was one of the most humbling moments of my life—but I trusted the man whose wife my wife had saved would respond with compassion. Instead, he was terse, almost cold. Still, he agreed to loan us what we needed to avoid foreclosure and keep the house on the market.

Nine days later, I awoke at 3 a.m. on July 26 to a text message.

 Dave said God had told him I was cursed.

Quoting Malachi and Genesis, he claimed I was “robbing” the Lord because I hadn’t given financially. Then he implied God was comparing me to Cain.

The words cut deep. They didn’t sound like the God I had come to know.

This wasn’t guidance. You can draw your own conclusion but to me it was spiritual manipulation—cloaked in authority.

A note on sourcing: I copied the text into a journal entry in October 2023. I no longer have the original screenshot because my phone was erased during an upgrade.

Spiritual and Psychological Turmoil

For days, I couldn't sleep. My thoughts spiraled into darkness. Had I failed God? Was I cursed? Was my spinal injury—my paralysis, my business collapse, my mother's death—all divine punishment for insufficient giving?

I tried to make sense of it—maybe it was a test, like Job. Maybe I had missed something.

But looking back, I see it clearly: this wasn’t God’s voice. It was a tactic—meant to shame and control.

Take this: if God were truly concerned about my giving and the state of my heart, why hadn’t He spoken through Dave at any point during the previous three years? Why did this “word” appear only a week after Dave loaned me money?

Later, as others began sharing their stories, I started to notice a pattern. These “words” often coincided with personal events—loans, needs, dating, even arranged marriages.

It convinced me—and others—that something deeper was at play. Maybe Dave sincerely believes he’s hearing from God, unaware of how his own emotions and motives shape what he says. Or maybe, at worst, he knows exactly what he’s doing—and uses “prophecy” to control outcomes.

The toll was relentless. I felt spiritually adrift—unworthy, abandoned. I couldn’t shake the echoes of the harsh words Dave spoke during my most vulnerable moments in the years leading up to 2023. One memory stands out: in 2021, while my mother was dying of cancer, I returned to Michigan to support her through hospice and to help arrange her funeral.

Between hospice and the funeral, I flew home briefly. I was already battling excruciating spinal cord pain—every movement was a negotiation with my body’s limits. Dave, Kathy, and Rebecca picked me up from the airport and took me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. Instead of offering comfort during one of the darkest periods of my life, Dave used that moment to attack me. He claimed my decision to be with my dying mother—to hold her hand as she took her final breaths—had placed undue strain on my wife. I was stunned. But the cruelest blow came next: during my mother's funeral and in the weeks that followed, there were no calls, no texts, no acknowledgement of my loss. The silence felt calculated—a punishment for daring to prioritize my dying mother over his expectations. It deepened my guilt and sense of abandonment at a time when I most needed compassion.

Dave called it "correction." But it was shaming. It was harmful. His refusal to see or acknowledge my pain—physical, emotional, spiritual—left scars I carry still.

Financial Ruin Under Spiritual Pressure

In August 2023, we were still far behind. Our electricity was in danger of being shut off, and the house sat on the market with no offers.

Out of desperation, Rebecca reached out to Dave. I couldn't bring myself to face him again—not after being called cursed and compared to Cain during our darkest hour. Two days later, Dave replied, but instead of offering support or assistance, he referred us to a financial advisor. The subtext was clear: Your poverty is your own fault for poor stewardship and insufficient tithing. I'm sending you to get financial advice you can't afford about money you don't have. When we contacted the advisor, he confirmed what we already knew—he couldn't help because we had no money to manage.

Spiritual guilt deepened our financial desperation.

We were at a breaking point. The power was on the verge of being shut off. Foreclosure loomed. Finally, a close friend who had been helping us sell the house confronted Dave directly. She told him his refusal to help was not just ungrateful but unconscionable—how could he abandon the family whose wife had literally given part of her body to save his wife's life?

That conversation led, eventually, to an offer: a loan from the church fund, a fund specifically set aside for needs like ours.

But he didn’t extend it until after I shared a song I’d written about loving God amid suffering. After hearing it, Dave told me that God had shown him I had made the proper sacrifice—that I had "earned" the help.

We borrowed from many: friends, family, even contractors—enough to keep the lights on, cover essential bills, and prepare the house for sale. That included a $9,500 loan from Dave. But the house didn’t sell. As winter approached, we pulled it off the market and found other ways to survive. We took on a boarder, and I began liquidating gear from the studio—vital equipment I’d once hoped to use again in a new location, now sold to make it through.

The October 23rd Meeting: Concealing the Truth

On the evening of October 23, 2023, I met with Dave and Marvin—one of the inner circle leaders—to discuss and hopefully interpret my dreams from July. I had prepared a journal entry I’d written on October 5th, titled The Dream and Dave’s Word, intending to read it aloud for context before seeking interpretation. As I began sharing, I reached the part where I planned to read the prophetic word Dave had given me: a 3 a.m. message claiming God said I was cursed, with the clear implication that my spinal injury and financial losses were tied to my tithing habits.

Dave interrupted immediately, his hand almost rising as if to physically stop me. 'We don't need to share that—just stick to the dreams,' he said sharply, cutting me off before I could continue.

His reaction was telling. If this had truly been a word from God, why stop another leader from hearing it? Looking back, I see something more sinister was at work.

That journal entry recorded the psychological torture I had endured—three sleepless nights questioning if I was cursed like Cain, desperately twisting theology to make sense of why God would say such a thing during the darkest period of my life. In that desperation, I performed elaborate theological gymnastics, convincing myself I had to tithe to Dave as my 'priest' before giving to the poor—like Abraham to Melchizedek. I twisted scripture to make my torment make sense.

I carried that spiritual weight for ten months. Ten months believing my spinal injury was punishment. Ten months thinking I had robbed God. Ten months of unquantifiable psychological and spiritual anguish.

And Dave knew it all along.

At that October meeting, Dave had no idea his manipulation would later lead me to give him $30,000 after our house sold. But he knew we had equity. And when I texted him in May 2024 to deliver the check, I joked about wishing I had room on the memo line to write “the order of Melchizedek.” His reply? A laughing emoji. He understood exactly what that meant—because I had explained it in October. He knew the theology I’d used to justify giving him money I could barely afford during my family’s collapse.

A true shepherd would have said, “Jim, this isn’t biblical. You don’t need to carry this burden. This theology is wrong, and you’re punishing yourself.” Instead, he laughed—and cashed the check.

Dave’s interruption that October evening wasn’t about protecting me. It was about protecting himself. He didn’t want Marvin to hear the manipulation, the torment, or the theology that had nearly destroyed me. He didn’t want another leader to witness the cost of his so-called prophecy.

The email I sent that day—subject line “Dreams and Dave’s Word”—confirms we met that night and that I intended to share everything. His decision to censor his own “word from God,” despite knowing its devastating effects, says all we need to know about his character.

The Pattern of Abuse Continues

One bright spot during that difficult winter was a friendship that developed between me and a younger man named Jett. In a season of isolation and spiritual trauma, it was one of those rare connections you can't predict or explain—an immediate kinship that brought hope during my darkest period. Sadly, like almost everything associated with Dave, this too became tainted.

On May 4, 2024, with our house sold (for much less than expected) and preparations underway for moving, we hosted the final gathering of our Jordan B. Peterson meetup group. This group, which I co-founded in 2018, had forged many meaningful friendships around Peterson’s ideas and other philosophical topics, though explicitly not from a traditional Christian perspective. It was never intended as a ministry in the way Dave defined it, but rather as a gathering for people to explore complex ideas and enjoy profound conversations. Jett, who shared an interest in these discussions, planned to attend this last meeting.

When I mentioned to Dave that Jett would be coming, his reaction stunned me. His face darkened, and with a voice dripping with anger and condemnation, he growled, “On Saturday night?!” as if I had suggested something blasphemous. The implication was clear: how dare I divert Jett from the "more important" Saturday night gathering Dave had organized—a new church initiative called Friday Night on Saturday Night, which had launched a few months earlier.

The intensity of Dave's condemnation was shocking, conveying that my final meeting—already painful enough to lose—was entirely meaningless to him. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised. Dave had repeatedly declared that he saw no 'fruit' in my life, dismissing years of meaningful relationships and intellectual growth as worthless. To him, anything that didn't directly serve his ministry was spiritual garbage. One Friday night, after the main teaching, Kathy abruptly told me that Jett had described the Peterson meetup at our home as "darkness" compared to the "light" of Friday Night. Later, when Rebecca asked Jett about this, he was upset, insisting that they had misconstrued and misrepresented his words. Unfortunately, twisting words and implying that meaningful fellowship could only occur within their gatherings had become standard practice for Dave.

As stated earlier—the house did sell but at a much lower price than we had hoped for. Still, we used the proceeds to repay every debt. But the pressure didn’t lift.

Dave’s 3 a.m. text quoting Malachi haunted me: “You are cursed with a curse … Bring the whole tithe … then I will rebuke the devourer.” I couldn’t help but wonder—was the curse already at work in my body? The timing and the verse felt less like guidance and more like a verdict.

I had hoped to share a third of the tithe (10,000) with Marvin, the leader who attended the October meeting who couldn’t afford a home. But Dave objected. He said Marvin didn’t truly need help because he worked full-time. Looking back, I see the conflict of interest clearly now: Dave was set to receive a 30,000 tithe his own warning compelled us to give and he didn’t want to share it.

What also haunted me was that his warning invoked a 'devourer' sent to consume what was left unprotected. In my traumatized mind, the spinal injury itself became the devourer's mark—visible proof that I was cursed. The only way to stop further destruction was to pay.

Out of fear, we tithed $30,000 the moment the house sold.

Theological Clarification: Freedom from the Curse

I anticipate the knee-jerk defense from Dave's disciples—or Dave himself—that his "word" came from God. But that kind of claim reflects an Old Covenant mindset that fundamentally misunderstands the gospel.

Dave's use of Malachi 3 hinges on a Deuteronomy 28 framework—curses for disobedience under the Mosaic Law. But that entire structure was fulfilled and lifted in Christ. In Galatians 3:13, Paul writes, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.”¹

This isn't a theological stretch. Paul is explicitly dismantling the Law's curse mechanism and declaring that Jesus absorbed it completely. That includes tithing-related judgment like Malachi 3:9. The cross didn't leave some curses intact while removing others—it dealt with the entire system.

This truth is reinforced throughout the New Testament. Colossians 2:14 tells us Christ "canceled the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands."² Romans 8:1 declares, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."³ That's three solid New Testament witnesses pointing to the same truth: curses under the Old Covenant no longer hold jurisdiction over those in Christ.

Even more fundamentally, you cannot curse what God has blessed. Under the Old Covenant itself, Balaam admitted, "How can I curse whom God has not cursed?" (Numbers 23:8).⁴ And Ephesians 1:3 says clearly that God "has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."⁵

Dave's "prophetic word" directly contradicted this New Testament reality. To say someone is "cursed" until they give—especially in financial terms—is to ignore the finished work of Christ on the cross. That's not prophetic; that's legalism. It binds where Christ has set free.

So, for the record, I gave in good faith and asked for that blessing not out of superstition, but because I had been placed under spiritual pressure by someone I trusted. And I now know better. I know that the blessing I needed didn't come from Dave. It came from Christ—who bore every curse already.

¹ Galatians 3:13 – “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.”

² Colossians 2:14 – “By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.”

³ Romans 8:1 – “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

⁴ Numbers 23:8 – “How can I curse whom God has not cursed? How can I denounce whom the Lord has not denounced?”

⁵ Ephesians 1:3 – “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.”

But Dave never cashed the check. I had made it out to him personally. Nearly two weeks later, on May 30th, I texted him: "Hey buddy, just checking to see why your tithe hasn't been deposited yet." He then instructed me to make it out to "Church of Phoenix" instead, with a memo specifying it was "given as a gift specifically to bless the ministry of Dave & Kathy Cottrell."

May 31st, 2024 — The Corrected Check and Ultimate Humiliation

When I texted back jokingly that I wished I had room for "After the order of Melchizedek" on the memo line, Dave replied with a laughing emoji. He understood exactly what that meant—because I had explained the twisted theology in October. He knew I believed I had to give to him as my "priest" before giving to the poor. And he laughed.

Adding insult to injury, the check was delivered on May 31st, 2024—just three days after my wife’s birthday. That Friday night, as was custom, Dave sang “Happy Birthday” to Rebecca while seated in his usual chair, just a few feet from us.

He then introduced a guest speaker—someone brought in to teach basic logic and apologetics. It was a subject I had studied for over twenty years. Dave knew that. It wasn’t just an interest of mine—it was a calling. Yet when it came time to form discussion groups, he looked around and asked where Quinn and others were to help lead. He never once looked at me.

Rebecca and I were stunned. After everything—after the injury, after the cruel silence during my mother's death, after tithing $30,000 in desperate fear that blessing might follow—I sat there, invisible. Twenty years of expertise in apologetics meant nothing. The $30,000 check meant nothing. I was furniture.

Trying to hold back tears, I stepped into the kitchen to gather myself. A few moments later, I walked out the front door to get air. Dave was already waiting on the porch. I hadn’t seen him slip out. He’d gotten there before me.

I told him directly how hurtful the exclusion had been. He claimed he hadn't seen me and didn't know where I was. Yet minutes earlier, he had sung "Happy Birthday" to my wife while we both sat feet away. He then showered me with praise about my intelligence and knowledge—praise that felt hollow and contrived. When I pressed him on why I was excluded despite having these qualities, he simply said, "There is a process." 

The very next day, I texted him again, asking to understand the “process” it took to be allowed to contribute. The truth was, I was asking why he had bypassed me. I had no problem with Jay, who led the talk that night—he did well. But Dave later said Jay’s delivery had been dry and uninspiring, and he chuckled about it. The subtext was unmistakable: it seemed he took a strange satisfaction in Jay being a less gifted orator than himself.

The insult wasn’t just an omission. It was selective visibility. He saw me when he wanted something—like a $30,000 check. But when it came time to let me use my gifts, he looked the other way.

Now we have nothing. Our home and business are gone. Though I’ve retrained, I still can’t find work. When we sold the house, we made about $300,000. We tithed 10%, paid off our debts, and covered critical medical expenses. That left around $140,000—$100,000 of which we put into gold and silver, hoping it could one day fund retirement or serve as a down payment on a future home. A year later, without steady income, we’re being forced to sell those assets just to pay rent and survive.

My final stem cell treatment is scheduled for August 2025. A year-long protocol is almost unheard of in this field—typically reserved for severe, long-term neurological trauma. That’s how extensive the damage was. And it’s also why I haven’t been able to return to full-time work.

But this wasn't just a slow financial unraveling. It was the inevitable result of weaponized spirituality—chronic stress, psychological terrorism, and leadership-induced shame systematically destroying our decision-making and physical health. The collapse wasn't accidental. It was engineered by a man who knew exactly what he was doing.

And I’m convinced Dave was the chief engineer.

He claimed to be teaching me a lesson—as if he were the mouthpiece of God—while showing almost no regard for my health, my family, or the actual cost of our suffering. He offered no real empathy.  The only tangible help came with the price tag of shame and blame. While I was enduring neurological trauma and near-paralysis, he remained distant. Disengaged. Silent.

They seem glad I’m improving now, but no one has asked where we’re living—if we’re renting, how we’re getting by, or whether we have enough to eat. As long as we show up to meetings, it’s as if nothing ever happened. Their posture is performative: all spiritual optics, no relational care.

Meanwhile, they travel and vacation freely—while we’ve been liquidating our last assets just to survive. And I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting. Not because I want what they have, but because they watched our suffering unfold and never stopped to ask how we were really doing.

And in all this, I keep hearing the words of Ezekiel 34:

Ezekiel 34:2–4 (ESV)

Thus says the Lord God:
Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves!
Should not shepherds feed the sheep?

You eat the fat,
you clothe yourselves with the wool,
you slaughter the fat ones,
but you do not feed the sheep.

The weak you have not strengthened,
the sick you have not healed,
the injured you have not bound up,
the strayed you have not brought back,
the lost you have not sought,
and with force and harshness you have ruled them.

That passage names what happened here. This wasn’t spiritual oversight—it was abandonment and exploitation masquerading as authority. A silent, cruel authority.

That silence speaks volumes.

A Pattern of Harm

This wasn't a one-time event. It was a calculated pattern. Weaponizing prophecy for financial gain. Abandoning people in crisis. Using spiritual authority to shame and control. Isolating members from outside relationships. This is textbook spiritual abuse.

I saw it. Others did too.

This isn’t about hurt feelings. It’s about leadership that uses fear to manipulate—about systems that punish vulnerability and call it “faith.”

Why I Speak Out

I’m not telling this story out of anger or revenge (although I do have some righteous anger). I’m telling it because silence protects abuse.

If you've been told you're cursed for not giving enough—if you've felt unworthy, abandoned, or ashamed just for being human and having needs—hear me clearly: That is not God's voice. That's a manipulator using religious language to control you. It's spiritual abuse, and you don't deserve it.

I tried to raise concerns quietly. Nothing changed.

So now, alongside others, I’m speaking up—to warn, to validate, and to heal.

My story puts flesh on the facts. It shows the human cost of this abuse.

If you've been through something like this—you're not alone. You're not crazy. Your intuition that something was wrong was right. And you can heal. We can heal. Together.

Yours in Christ, 

Jim L.

Statement by Quinn

With Jim’s blessing, I am providing some additional information and commentary.

Regarding the “process” Dave claimed there is before someone is allowed to teach at Friday Night or lead discussion groups: there is none.  I was there for 10 years, and part of the inner circle for 4+.  I was never put through a process.  I guarantee you that any time I wanted to bring a teaching, Dave would’ve rolled out the red carpet for me.  He probably would’ve wanted to know the topic I was going to speak on, but he wouldn’t have asked to see my teaching before I spoke in front of the group or anything like that.

Secondly, Dave relayed to our Monday Night inner circle group that Jim was upset over the Jay situation and not being asked to teach or lead a discussion group.  At the time, I had basically no awareness of Jim’s overall situation – I might’ve just had a vague idea they were selling their house or something.  The way Dave described the conflict didn’t make sense to me, because he portrayed Jim as being really angry, and I didn’t see how Jim could be so angry over something like that.  I asked Dave what the full content of Jim’s complaint was.  Dave gave me an annoyed look, didn’t answer, and the topic moved elsewhere.  I didn’t feel it was my place to pry, because it seemed like a personal conflict between the two, so I let it go.  This story and others illustrate how Dave implemented a fake accountability system.  It was all selective information sharing, making other people look bad, making himself look innocent, etc.

Jim’s story shocked me, not because of the false prophecy / spiritual manipulation which I know all too well, but because of the cruelty and exploitation.

The context of Malachi 3 is the old covenant, in which tithing was compulsory, similar to income tax today.  As such, it was a sin to not pay the whole tithe.  On the other hand, the New Testament explicitly states giving must NOT be under compulsion.⁶  By delivering this prophecy, Dave put Jim under spiritual duress, violating his own principle that prophecy should be measured against scripture. Dave knows Scripture well, often quoting obscure passages from memory. It is highly unlikely he was unaware of this one in 2 Corinthians 9. It is not obscure, but a standard text often referenced on the topic of giving.

Putting that aside for a moment, suppose for the sake of argument that Dave’s prophecy was legitimate.  Basic integrity would say that Dave must absolutely refuse to receive a single penny, since it’s an obvious conflict of interest.  But not only did he take the money, he even persuaded Jim not to give a portion to Marvin.

Another topic in Malachi 3 is the oppression of the widow and the orphan (see verse 5).  Widows and orphans were basically people who were in a vulnerable position through no fault of their own.  While Jim was not a literal widow or orphan, he was very much in a financially precarious position because of an injury.  When you consider Dave’s willingness to take direct financial benefit, it is accurate to say that Dave used false prophecy to exploit the poor.

With this repulsive act, Dave joined the company of the scribes who “devour widows’ houses” (Luke 20:47; see also Matthew 23:14) and the false prophets of 2 Peter 2:1-3 who “in their greed [] will exploit you with false words…”

⁶ 2 Cor. 9:7 Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

The Peerless Papa Dave

by Jessica G.

I started attending Friday Night in 2013, after being invited by a friend. I was going through a hard time in my marriage and Friday Night felt like a safe harbor. I believed it was safe because it was associated with Scottsdale Bible Church and Dave was a paid missionary at CRU. I attended Friday Night as my home church. I was there nearly every week. I also attended related events, like ‘Girls Night’, hosted events at my home and I discipled several women. A few years in, a friend started drifting away from Friday Night. She would post articles about cults on her Facebook page. When I read them I was surprised that some of the items fit Friday Night, like an attitude of superiority or having a single charismatic leader. But I dismissed my concerns because I did not personally observe overt, controlling behavior.

While attending Friday Night, I learned Dave’s view on spiritual gifts, which included his definition of prophecy and self proclaimed status as a prophet. I believed his teaching, which led me to take actions based on what he said. For example, in 2015 Dave shared a prophecy he had, about how the coin of this realm will be tarnished. He then said he thought it meant there would be a problem with the financial system. Since I believed he was a prophet, what he said scared me. I took several thousand dollars out of my savings account in cash. Later when I went to buy a house I found out that I couldn’t use the cash due to several real estate laws. I now realize that Dave’s prophecy was wrong. But because I believed him I took an action that almost hurt me financially. I was surprised to learn, years later, that Dave had retracted the urgency of the prophecy.

Another example occurred when I participated in spiritually abusing a person. Dave had said that someone was a prophet. I will call them Delta. Delta attended Friday Night along with their friend. Dave confirmed Delta had the gift of prophecy. One night Delta’s friend asked me to come over. I went to their home. Delta said they had received a word from God. The word directed them to have their friend go through every item they owned and pray about the item. If the friend did not hear from God that they were meant to keep the item, they were supposed to destroy it. I thought Delta heard from God. And I wanted to obey God. I felt uncomfortable but I wanted to be willing to sacrifice anything for God. So I stood there silently praying as the friend took their pictures one by one, prayed and then tore them up and put them in the trash. I did not intervene at the time, because I had yet to understand the spiritual abuse taking place. I recognize now that it was spiritual abuse when Delt's word from God brought about this event.. While Dave is not responsible for Delta’s actions, this is an example of spiritual abuse that happened as a result of Dave’s teachings. I have taken responsibility for my part and repented.

At this time, I noticed the number of broken relationships surrounding Dave. He requested that I no longer invite someone he was in conflict with to game nights hosted at my home. Another individual had a falling out with Dave, while working together on a ministry project.These were not casual acquaintances, but people who had close relationships with Dave. Broken relationships are a normal part of life, but Dave seemed to avoid repairing relationships that broke, which is unusual for a Christian leader.

Due to Covid in 2020, Friday Night had to make some changes to its format. There was a lot of discussion and during an online Friday Night, people began to criticize it. The criticism was over the format and some of the attitudes that seemed to be expressed by the group. As a result, Dave picked a few people to conduct a survey. The survey project failed and was never shared with the group. During the project I observed how controlling Dave can be. For example, the group put together a 10 question survey. We sent it to Dave thinking we would get a quick approval. Dave expanded the survey to 80 questions. He refused to consider a shorter option. We did collect 40 responses, and I was able to review the results. I learned something important. The majority of people who attended saw Friday Night as their home church. At the time, Friday Night was meeting at Citizen's Church, which was not affiliated with SBC. However, Friday Night was listed on the SBC website as a small group. Friday Night did not call itself a small group, but proclaimed itself a house church. Dave was also talking about starting a para-church ministry called JesusU, which would be independent of both Citizen's Church and SBC.

I realized that Friday Night could operate in a healthy way as a house church OR a small group of a church OR a para-church ministry. Any of the three was fine. What was not fine was the current leadership structure, or truly lack thereof. Depending on what Friday Night was should dictate the appropriate form of leadership. During the survey process, I also had several people share things that happened between them and Dave where they thought Dave was wrong. This included them trying to talk to Dave and Dave listening but not changing. I believed the problem was Dave had no accountability and that Friday Night needed elders who are equal to Dave.

I paused attending Friday Night in 2020. Friday Night’s inconsistent Covid precautions played a role in my decision. More importantly, I was trying to figure out what I thought the problems were and potential solutions.

During 2020, I recorded the following themes I observed about Friday Night:

●      Dave had no peers or leaders who were his equal. This meant that when people were hurt by Dave, there was no place for people to go to get help. It also meant some people would be neglected. Dave often talks about re-parenting the people who attend Friday Night. The problem is that since Dave is the only leader, he literally doesn’t have enough hours in the day to do this.

●      The lack of peers also meant there was a lack of leadership structure. Without structure the group could not grow and did not grow. Based on statements Dave has made, I realized that 1000 visitors over 15 years had led to a regularly attending group of just 30 people.

●      I also observed a prideful attitude in Dave and the group. There was contempt for other churches and listening to other Biblical teachers.

I also observed two troubling statements made by Dave during this time.

First, Dave told me about a ministry he was planning called JesusU. The purpose was to provide training on how to live the Christian life. Training would include how to prepare a bible study and how to use a gospel track when witnessing. Dave said that he planned to advertise JesusU as theologically neutral. Then he said he was also considering having ‘advanced’ classes where he would teach his own theology. In my opinion this was deceptive.

The second instance occurred at a party with members from Citizen’s church. I was speaking with a Christian who was a licensed counselor. I asked her about the code of ethics licensed counselors follow and how that impacted her practice. Dave joined the conversation saying that a married couple had come to him and Kathy recently and said how grateful they were that Dave and Kathy were not licensed counselors so that Dave and Kathy could actually tell them what to do. The tone Dave used when he said this indicated that he was proud of being described this way. I found his statement troubling, because it seemed to suggest that he was better at counseling than a licensed therapist.

In 2021, I returned to Friday Night. Because of my concerns, I decided to bring a teaching. Dave had often encouraged me to do this, but I had been too scared in the past. It wasn’t that I was scared of public speaking. I had done it many times at work. What I was afraid of was somehow “missing the spirit”. I believed I needed to feel a prompting in my chest in order to be able to share. I was afraid of my teaching being criticized or dismissed during the discussion. And most importantly, I was afraid of Dave’s disapproval.

I decided to try and overcome my personal fears. I prepared a teaching about groups in the New Testament. I can’t remember the specifics of what I shared. The list I have in my journal included passages like 1 Cor 11, that the church can come together for good or for the worse. I also noted passages like Matthew 6, where Jesus’s prayer to the Father is in the plural of “our father” and “our daily bread”. There wasn’t much discussion or feedback on what I shared. But I will never forget how Dave wrapped up the conversation because I wrote about it in my journal the following morning.

First Dave said "I have authority from God, as the elder of this group, but not to be a dictator." Then Dave went on to tell a story about how he was talking to a man who had worked at a church for 30 years. This man thought he was a Christian, but Dave showed him that he was not and then led him to Jesus. Finally, Dave told a story about how a man came to Friday Night teaching heresy. The man taught that Jesus didn’t save individuals, He saved groups of people. Dave explained that God gave Dave wisdom on how to refute the man.

When Dave said that I felt like slime had been poured over my head. Dave did not call me out by name. He didn’t have to. I could tell that his comments were directed at me. Plus his proclamation that he was the elder of the group, felt like a desperate attempt to reassert his power. It wouldn’t be until later, when I read a book on spiritual abuse, that I would have a name for the experience: “being bullied from the pulpit”.

While Dave’s response was hurtful, I didn’t address it specifically with him. Instead I decided to talk to Dave about the lack of leadership and elders at Friday Night. I thought that if there were leaders who were equal to Dave, that would provide ways to resolve conflicts with Dave in a healthy and productive way. The conversation did not go well. Both Dave and I cried. Dave said that I was projecting the wounds I had from my father onto him and that people often did that to him. Dave said that he had tried to get other leaders, but the lack of leadership wasn’t his fault. Dave also said that he was held accountable in six different ways.

●      His discipleship group (which included Quinn). There was a 30+ year age gap between Dave and these young men.

●      A house church leader who used to be Dave’s disciple (20-30 year age gap), he did not attend Friday Night, many people didn’t know who he was.

●      A ministry leader who used to be Dave’s disciple, (he also did not attend Friday Night, and often was out of state).

●      Scottsdale Bible Church

●      Citizens Church

●      CRU

I left the conversation feeling like Dave didn’t really listen to me and that he would not change. I thought about it and realized that Dave only had the illusion of accountability. The men were his current or former disciples and the organizations were too far removed from the group to know what was happening.

After the conversation, I decided to stop attending Friday Night. I left quietly, because while I saw major problems with Dave, I did not have enough evidence that Dave had engaged in a pattern of spiritual abuse. Plus, I was scared. I didn’t want to lose my friends. This was July of 2021.

In 2022, several people from Friday Night approached me with evidence that Dave had engaged in spiritual abuse. They wanted help engaging in the biblical process of holding leaders accountable. We did not believe that any of Dave’s current or former disciples would help hold Dave accountable for what he did. So we decided to contact CRU and SBC (Dave stopped associating with Citizen’s Church in mid 2022, so we did not reach out to them). We spent several months talking with CRU and SBC on how to report the people’s stories. Neither organization had a documented process for collecting stories from victims and protecting them during the process. CRU told me not to collect other people’s stories. CRU said that what was happening with Friday Night attenders was a local church matter. CRU had no jurisdiction over Dave’s small group. They referred us to work with SBC.

After talking with both organizations, myself and another person met with Dave to tell him we were going to report our concerns to CRU and SBC. Dave responded by saying:

●      “I wish God had not made me a jerk.” This was shocking to hear. Dave does not believe in original sin, yet was blaming God for being a “jerk” who hurt people.

●      “I’m on the far side of the prophet/mercy spectrum.” Dave regularly teaches that prophets like him are harsh while those with the gift of mercy are more kind and empathic. (For more information on this please see the essay “The Prophecy vs Mercy Fallacy”)

●      I’ve been praying for years for elders, but God hasn’t sent anyone so he must approve of the way we’ve been doing things.

●      Dave admitted to taking the action another member had told me about. In my opinion, Dave’s action was controlling and spiritually abusive.

●      Dave also insinuated that he was like Jesus and Paul, in that they too had disciples leave them. I interpreted this to mean that Dave was questioning my salvation, since I was questioning Dave’s leadership.

●      Dave also asked for a specific list of our concerns and what we wanted changed.

●      When we said he had the sin of pride, Dave said that he had asked God three times if he was prideful. Dave said that God told Dave he wasn’t and to stop asking Him about it.

I left the meeting shaking. That night I wrote a long email and sent it to both CRU and SBC.

I listed three primary concerns:

The first is that Dave has no peers, which leads to a lack of mediation and accountability. When hurt and abuse happens, there is little recourse beyond Dave. The lack of recourse has led myself and others to leave Friday Night, which prevents the ministry from growing.

The second is that Dave’s emphasis on the teaching that people can hear the voice of God coupled with his ignorance of abuse creates the conditions for hurt and additional abuse.

The third is that Dave has set himself up as the only elder, yet refuses to take all of the responsibility for the position and recognize the power he wields.

I asked for three things: clear communication on who can help mediate between Dave and Friday Night attenders, a disclaimer warning people about Dave’s marriage counsel, and that Dave should repent from his pride. I did not share the stories that had been shared with me.  I had not received permission to share them, because the organizations did not have a process to protect the victims.

Two weeks later I met with a SBC pastor. He told me that several other people had raised concerns with SBC. Someone I was working with had been in contact with him for several months. The pastor said that he had talked with Dave and Kathy. His assessment was that they were unteachable. He offered me some advice on how to protect myself in the future. He also advised me that when a group like Friday Night was removed from a church’s website, the group usually died. There wasn’t much else that he could do.

Having exhausted the options to report people’s stories to CRU and SBC, plus their unwillingness or inability to hold Dave accountable in a meaningful way, we walked away. We stopped pursuing accountability for Dave and decided to move on with our lives.

In 2023, Quinn asked me if I had an unresolved conflict with Dave. I said yes. He offered to help resolve the conflict. I declined his help, as he was one of Dave’s disciples and I did not trust him. He apologized for not reaching out when I left Friday Night and said he was open to talking. But as long as I had unresolved conflict with Dave he would not socialize with me and would decline to attend small gatherings that I was invited to. I decided to let the relationship go. I thought Quinn’s decision to cut off someone who had a conflict with Dave looked like the behavior of a cult member.

Quinn and I did not speak or interact for nearly two years. Then in March of 2025 he called me at 6am. I was shocked at how emotionally distraught he was. He said he thought I might have been right about Dave and Friday Night. After several conversations we agreed that it was our responsibility to try and stop Dave from hurting anyone else.

You may think from reading my story that I am out to get Dave. I am not. I was trying to figure out ways to solve the problems at Friday Night so that it could grow in 2020. In 2021, I saw myself as trying to work with Dave and not against him, because I believed he needed support from true peers. In 2022, I asked the organizations he worked with for help and mediation, because I knew it was not just for Dave to be his own judge and jury. Each time I looked for ways to preserve Friday Night and even Dave’s continued ministry. Each time I tried to follow the evidence. Each time I tried to follow biblical models. I admit that I may have failed in my methods. And as you can see, I failed to bring about change. And so I left quietly.

The reason I have decided to try again is because I believe that Dave will continue to spiritually abuse people until he experiences the consequences of his actions. People spend years recovering from Dave’s life destroying counsel. No amount of what Dave calls “good fruit” is worth the suffering of his victims. Dave has no excuse because people have been coming to him for years. I also believe that Dave has the capacity to change, even though it will take him years. I hope that he will do the right thing by repenting and removing himself from ministry.

“When people stay silent, those who abuse are safe.”-Lisa Oakley, 2013

Dave’s Relationship Counseling

Submitted Anonymously

In order to protect the privacy of those involved, and to meet the clear expectations of confidentiality, this will remain an objective recount of observations that have led me to these conclusions. The details of these multiple cases of counseling have been omitted, but if I was able to include the full details of this story, it would paint a much worse picture.

To start, I have witnessed Dave shows issues with partiality. I have seen that he does not allow equal speaking time between partners. Furthermore, Dave has shown himself to reprimand one party during the conversation without conclusive claims or evidence to do so. I have observed Dave focusing the majority of his time on correcting the victims reaction to wrongdoing while ignoring the actions of the perpetrator.

The second concern I have is how Dave reacts to the evaluation of his claims. I have had multiple instances where I confronted Dave with the logical fallacies of his ideas, and he redirected the conversation instead of addressing the issue at hand. When he is unable to redirect the conversation, I have been (among others) directly attacked by him. Because of my disagreement with him, he has responded by questioning my spirituality and motives, although I was bringing my concerns in good faith.

The third issue I have with Dave is his lack of discernment in foundational areas when it comes to relationships. Dave has indicated that he may hold a set of beliefs about relationships that are not stated in the Bible. However, he will implicitly pose these beliefs as advice taken from the Bible. Furthermore, I have observed that he has given and promoted reckless relationship advice. For example, he would overburden one partner with responsibilities while the other party is devoid of any responsibility as well as accountability. This advice that Dave has given can lead to an unstable foundation for a marriage and can lay the foundation for an abusive marriage. He brings those beliefs which are not in the Bible with authority, and I believe he does not distinguish between what is in the Word of God and his own opinions. 

It is important to note that not all advice Dave has given is harmful, but some of his advice is dangerous. Dave exhibits the behaviour of a leader who either may have trouble or outright fails to discern his own opinion from God's Word. This pattern within Dave's counseling has caused great harm to those who, at some point, decided to follow him. And If someone is in a position of influence, and not held accountable, their words of advice can cause great harm to those who follow them.